Francis, the cat, is in his kitchen about to have an afternoon snack.

As he readies himself to eat, drool coming out of his mouth, he overhears wings flapping.

He looks up about to mock Rafael, but he´s surprised to find Luna, his mate, instead.

Cat (surprised): Luna?
Luna: hi Francis. I hope you don´t mind me just barging in like this…

She lands in front of him.

Cat: Not at all. Is everything okay?
Luna (not really): oh… yeah…
Cat: Luna? What´s wrong?

Luna (looking down): Nothing really… (suddenly looks up): Francis?
Cat (startled): what?
Luna: I´m sorry, can I call you Francis?
Cat: it´s my name. What else would you call me?

Luna (hesitating): Francis…
Cat: yes?
Luna: Do you mind if I hang out with you, here, for a while?

Cat (curious): I don´t mind that at all, but why would you want to “hang” here, instead of in your house?
Luna: just because…
Cat: Luna? What´s wrong? Did Rafael do something wrong? I can bite him if you want.

Luna: No. Rafael didn´t do anything. Thanks for asking.
Cat: Then why don´t you want to go home?
Luna (avoids the question): can I ask you something?

Cat: sure, ask away.
Luna: If I, for example needed you to eat someone, would you?
Cat (appalled): what?
Luna: eat someone…

Cat: How many times do I have to say this? I don´t eat other living beings.
Luna: Even if it was someone evil?
Cat (concerned): Luna, did Rafael hurt you?
Luna: what? No!

Cat: Then who exactly do you want me to eat?
Luna: Momo…
Cat: who?
Luna: my sister Momo.

Cat: You want me, to eat your sister?
Luna (dead serious): yes!
Cat: Why? What did she do?

Luna: it doesn´t matter. Will you help me or not?
Cat: Luna!
Luna: fine! If you must know, she wants to steal Rafael from me.
Cat: say what now?

Luna: she wants Rafael!
Cat: is she suicidal?
Luna: no. She´s my big sister. She said Rafael was such a specimen and that he should be with a woman that understands and values him.

Cat (dumbstruck): she doesn´t know him very well, does she?
Luna: No, why?
Cat: explains her fascination with him.
Luna: what´re you saying?

Cat: Luna, the only reason she wants Rafael is because he´s your mate, am I right?
Luna: oh most definitely.
Cat (nods): and she hasn´t spent that much time with him, has she?
Luna: what´s your point?

Cat: stay away for two hours and leave them be.
Luna: are you crazy? She´s going to steal my man!
Cat: Luna, Rafael´s crazy about you, emphasis on the crazy…

Luna rolls her eyes and shakes her head but before she can say anything Francis continues on.

Cat (cont): … and no woman, no matter who she is, will steal him from you.
Luna (hopeful): you really think so?
Cat: I know so. Plus, I assure you, once you get back she´s going to want to leave and never come back again.

Luna (confused): why would you say that?
Cat: because Rafael is going to drive her insane.
Luna: you´re just saying that to make me feel better.
Cat: Luna, how you put up with that crazy bird is a mystery to me.

Luna: Francis come on, you and Rafael are friends.
Cat: yes! I´m a cat, he´s a bird. Total loony bin material.

Francis flashes her a huge smile, comforting her.

Luna: what if she…
Cat (interrupts): la, la, la! The master cat has spoken!
Luna: You really are a riot.
Cat: I know right? But don´t tell Rafael.

Luna: why not?
Cat: he still thinks I want to eat him.
Luna (messing with him): wouldn´t you?

Cat: oh hell no! I might get indigestion!
Luna: what´s that??
Cat: don´t know, don´t care, but it´s bad.

Luna breaks out laughing.

Luna: ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat: feel better?
Luna: much. Thank you.

Cat: if that doesn´t work, which I honestly doubt, just come back here and let me know. I´ll pay you guys a visit and threaten to eat her.

Luna: you´d really do that?
Cat: of course, what´re friends for?
Luna: thanks Francis.
Cat: you´re welcome.

Luna (takes in a deep breath): here I go.
Cat: no!
Luna: what? But you just said…
Cat: I said leave them be for a couple of hours.

Luna: oh right. But, what am I going to do until then?
Cat: want to watch some tv?
Luna: sure.
Cat: come on.

Luna: thank you Francis
Cat: you´re welcome. Plus if you really want to piss him off, just tell him we´re having an affair.
Luna: you´re crazy, did you know that?
Cat: oh please, I´m awesome.

The end!

2019_ Joana Teixeira