Stewie, the lizard, wakes up from his afternoon nap and yawns like he just slept for a week.

Stewie (looks around): Mommy?

He finds that he´s alone, but unlike most animals that are small, Stewie´s not afraid.

In fact he smiles defiantly conjuring infinite possibilities in his mind.

He comes outside his home, in which it was dark into the blazing sun.

Stewie shy’s away from the strong sunlight and hides back inside.

He opens and closes his eyes multiple times trying to adjust his eyes to the light.

He then ventures outside his home once more.

Stewie smiles in wonder when he discovers the beautiful day outside.

He looks to the sides to try and find his mother.

He walks around from one side to the other never going too far from his “doorstep”.

The small lizard gets tired and decides to sit down and rest for a bit.

Stewie (annoyed): crap!

He exhales loudly.

Stewie (cont.): where are you mom?

Stewie takes a deep breath and gets back up.

He then decides to go and look for his mother.

Latter…

Stewie, the lizard, walks by Jason´s yard. He comes to a sudden halt as he overhears a loud drilling sound.

Curiosity gets the best of him and he decides to venture into the unknown, entering Jason´s backyard.

The sound becomes clearer.

Francis, the cat, is his backyard, belly up, sleeping and snoring like there´s no tomorrow.

Stewie stops, eyeing the strange creature.

He takes in a deep breath as in gathering courage and decides to walk towards the sleeping ball of fur.

He nears Francis, stealthily.

Stewie (very low): … excuse me…
Cat: … zzzzz….
Stewie (a little louder): excuse me…

No luck.

Stewie eyes Francis with both curiosity and fear.

He swallows in dry, closes his eyes and takes one final breath before…

He opens his eyes and finds Francis eyeing him in shock.

Stewie (screaming): ah!
Cat (joins in on the screaming): Ah!

Francis, the cat, turns around in a hurry.

Cat (backing away): what? What? Who´re you?
Stewie (fearful): I´m lost… could you please help me please?

Francis looks to the sides, highly confused, still half asleep.

His eyes fall then fall on Stewie. He sees a small, frightened creature, asking him for help.

He looks down and sys.

He then looks up, straight at Stewie, eyes open wide.
Stewie stumbles back, a bit fearful.

Francis nears him and sits down and nears his head to the small lizard´s.

Stewie eyes him suspiciously but doesn´t budge.

Cat: what´s your name?
Stewie: Stewie sir.
Cat (surprised): sir?
Stewie: I´m sorry, is it ma´am?

Cat: what? No!
Stewie (confused): then… what are you?
Cat (stumped): I´m Francis.
Stewie: I´m stewie sir… ma´am… um…?

Stewie fills his cheeks with air as he has no clue of what else to say.

Francis sys, again.

Cat: Stewie, just call me Francis, and to answer your question (not really) I´m a boy.
Stewie : oh okay. Thank you for telling me.
Cat: no problem.
Stewie: Mr. Cat?

Cat: Francis.
Stewie: what?
Cat: my name is Francis. Call me Francis.

Stewie: Oh okay.
Cat: what´s your name?
Stewie: I´m Stewie.

Cat: well, it´s very nice to meet you Stewie.
Stewie: very nice to meet you Mr. Francis.
Cat: just Francis. No need for the Mr.
Stewie: oh okay. Mr. Francis? Oops… sorry. Francis?

Cat: yes?
Stewie: are you going to eat me?
Cat (surprised): what? Why would I?

Stewie: my mom told me that I should be careful where I go, because there are some animals out there that eat small lizards like me.

Cat: I’m sorry to tell you Stewie, but your mom is right. You should be careful.
Stewie: but you just said…

Cat: I said I´m not going to eat or hurt you and I was telling you the truth. But your mom was right. There are some other animals out there that could hurt you.  You also need to be careful about humans and cars.

Stewie: so mom was right huh? There really are a lot of dangers out there.
Cat: yes, there are. How did you end up here anyways?

Stewie: I woke up and my mom was gone so I went outside to look for her but then I chased a butterfly and somehow I ended up here.

Francis lowers his head near Stewie´s face.

Cat: so basically, you have no idea how to get home, do you?
Stewie (sad): no…
Cat: Come on Stewie. Don´t look so sad. I´m sure your mom…

BANG!

Out of nowhere something lands on Francis´s face, hard.

Francis stumbles to the side after being hit by something with the force of a bulldozer.

He tries to get up and “shake it off”, but is too hammered to even stand, even if on four.

Cat (shaking his head): brrr…
Mary (Stewie´s mom/angry even if fearful): you stay the hell away from my child you filthy creature!

Stewie: MOM!
Cat (insulted): filthy? Me?

Mary rushes to Stewie´s side.

Stewie:  Mommy!

Mary sits in front of Stewie, facing Francis.

Mary: stay away from us you wrecked cat!
Cat (offended): Lady come on!
Stewie: Mom?
Mary: stay back Stewie. This cat´s not going to hurt you.

Stewie: I know.
Mary (surprised): you do?
Stewie: yeah, Francis´s my friend.
Mary (doubtful): what?

Stewie: yeah. I came here ´cause I got lost and I was looking for you and then I found Francis. He was asking me where I live so he could take me home.

Mary (not believing it): Mr. Cat?

Francis is distracted rubbing his paw through his head, still sore from Mary landing on him.

Mary nears Francis.

Cat (fearful): what?
Mary (eyeing him dubiously): is this true?
Cat: what is?
Mary: Stewie says you offered to help him get home.

Cat: yeah, so?
Mary: why would you do that?
Cat: do what?
Mary: help Stewie.

Cat: because he came to me for help, he´s small and he was scared and I´m a really good guy.
Mary: are you really?
Cat: yes.

Mary: You weren´t pretending to help him just so you could eat him latter?
Cat (sys, annoyed): huh! Listen here lady, I don´t eat other living creatures. I swear Rafael put a curse on me or something.

Mary (surprised): you know Rafael?
Cat: yes. And Raul and Rosa. Luna too.
Mary: really?
Cat: yeah, they´re my friends.

Mary: you´re a cat. They´re rats and birds. Cats eat rats and birds.
Cat: I don´t eat rats, nor birds. Or lizards for that matter.

Mary: so, you´re a fake cat?
Cat: seriously lady?
Mary: what?
Stewie: Mommy?

Mary: what is it dear?
stewie: I´m hungry.
Mary: let´s go home. Francis?
Cat: yes?

Mary: thank you…
Cat: for what?
Mary: being nice to Stewie.
Cat: you´re welcome.

Mary: come on Stewie. Let´s go home. Bye Francis.
Stewie: bye Francis.
Cat: bye.

Mary and Stewie leave.

Francis sys in relief and walks back to the same place he was resting before being run over by bulldozer Mary.

He lays back down, belly up.

Cat (bitching): why do I have to be such a good soul?

He soon falls back asleep.

Zzzz….

The end!

2019_Joana Teixeira.