Francis, the cat, enters his living room, incredibly happy.

Cat: Ho! Ho! Ho!
Pen (interrupts): oh no you don´t!
Cat (startled): what?

Pen: you wrecked cat, Christmas is still two weeks away.
Cat (sys on annoyance): Decrypt creature, why are you always trying to kill my buzz?
Pen: oh but you are highly mistaken my friend.
Cat: am I now?

Pen: yes.
Cat: how so?
Pen: you see, the day I kill your buzz, I commit suicide.
Cat (confused): you do what?

Pen: oh Francis. Thankfully, you´re just Dumb as a door.
Cat (mad): I am not dumb.
Pen: No, of course not. Just not that bright.
Cat: not that what?

Francis manages to leave the Pen at a loss for words.

Cat (cont.): so?
Pen: so what?
Cat: don´t you have something better to do?
Pen: That depends.

Cat: depends on what?
Pen: are you going to keep singing?
Cat: why do you want to know?

Pen: So I can cover my ears and not listen.
Cat (looking really hard at the Pen): Pen?
Pen: what?
Cat: where are you ears?

Pen: My what?
Cat: your ears?
Pen: what in the freck are you talking about?

Cat: you don´t have any ears. How is it that you listen?
Pen: You ask the dumbest of questions.
Cat (getting angry): Hey!
Pen: what?

Cat: That´s the second time you´ve called me that!
Pen: called you what?
Cat: dumb!

Pen: but Francis…
Cat: what?
Pen: you are dumb.

Cat: I am not dumb!
Pen: no, just incredibly stupid.
Cat: you, you…

Pen: what? Can´t think of a comeback?
Cat: I hate you.

Pen: You always say that. But, let´s be serious, what would your life look like without me in it, huh Francis?

Cat (immediate response): like heaven.
Pen: you´d be dead?
Cat: no, you stupid stick, I´d be in paradise.

Pen: according to my knowledge, and believe me when I say, I have of ton of it; you have to die to go to paradise.

Cat (annoyed): shut up!
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat: hey!

Pen (startled): what?
Cat: How come you can go all “Ha! Ha! Ha!”, but I can´t go all “Ho! Ho! Ho!”?
Pen (dumbstruck): are you seriously asking me that question?
Cat (doubtful): yes…

Pen: Francis…
Cat: what?
Pen: Merry Christmas.
Cat: bite me!

Pen: yeah, I don´t think so.
Cat: what?
Pen: I don´t want to die of food poisoning.

Cat: shut up!
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat: I hate you.

The Pen “glides away”, laughing.

Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat (angry): shut up!

The end!

2018_ Joana Teixeira