Francis, the cat, is in his bed in the living room resting.

The Pen comes along and with a deviant smile on “its” lips, approaches the cat, stealthily.

Cat (suddenly): Hi there Pen.
Pen (upset): crap!

Francis turns around, gets up and faces the Pen.

The Pen recoils a bit fearful.

Francis lays back down; his eyes never leave the Pen.

Cat: I said hello, the least you could do is say it back.
Pen: I don´t want to.
Cat: Oh I see…
Pen: see what?

Cat: That time of the month dear?
Pen (clueless): time of the month? What the heck are you blabbing about?
Cat: you know…
Pen: With you? Oh I never know.

Cat: well, if you don´t know, I´m not going to be the one to tell you.
Pen: why not?
Cat: because I don´t want to.

Pen: You don´t want to?
Cat: well, that, and I like knowing things you don´t.
Pen: you´re seriously damaged, did you know that?

Cat: and you´re like a broken record, did you know that?
Pen: what? How so?
Cat: you keep saying the same thing over and over again and again.

Pen: I do not!
Cat: yeah, you do.
Pen: do I?
Cat: yes.

Pen: how so? I mean, what exactly do I say?
Cat:  That I´m crazy, a drunkard cat and the list goes on and on…
Pen (sys): ha… Francis?

Cat: what?
Pen: The truth of the matter is Francis, that you already think those things about yourself, I just voice them out loud.
Cat: what?

Pen: stupid cat, I´m just a figment of your imagination.
Cat (confused): you´re a what?
Pen: You´re an idiot.

Cat (offended): and you´re a decrypt, obnoxious, stupid pen!
Pen: Hey!
Cat: what?
Pen: no need to offend!

Cat: So, you can tell me off as much you want, but I have to watch my words with you?
Pen: yes.
Cat: why?
Pen: because I’m the all amazing, wonderful Pen.

Cat: oh yeah, and what am I?
Pen (smiling defiantly): a crazy, drunkard feline.
Cat: I hate you!

Pen: oh please! You love me! I´m your best friend.
Cat: No, you´re not!
Pen: stupid cat, I´m like you wife, or your husband, whatever suits your cookie, but…

Cat: shut up!
Pen: why?

Francis sys in annoyance, loudly.

Pen: Francis, dear?
Cat: go away.
Pen: I don´t want to.

Cat: Pen either you go away, now, or I´ll grab you, chew you and I´ll run off with whatever´s left and leave you at some random house, 10 block from here.

Pen: On second thought I have to do a thing somewhere else, that not here. Bye!
Cat: good for you.
Pen: bye.

The Pen runs off.

Cat: Ha! Why do I have to put up with that crazy pen? (hiccup)
Pen (from a distance): ha! Someone didn´t take his morning pills today…
Cat (not far enough): I can still hear you!
Pen: crap!

The Pen runs off, this time farther away.

The end!

2018_ Joana Teixeira