Francis, the cat, enters his house through the back door.

He rushes to get to his litter box.

As soon as he gets in his face changes from panic to sheer joy.

Cat (relief): ah…
Pen (out of nowhere): You truly are a weird cat.
Cat (embarrassed): Hey!

Pen: what?
Cat: Privacy much.
Pen: Oh please…

Cat: I´m in the bathroom, a little privacy would be appreciated.
Pen: stupid cat, you´re in the kitchen as per usual.

Cat: But… I´m in my special place. A little respect please!
Pen: you´re peeing. What´s so special about that?
Cat: You are a seriously demented pen, did you know that? No respect whatsoever.

Pen: Are you done?
Cat: with what?
Pen: bitching!

Cat: Go away.
Pen: I don´t want to.
Cat: please…

Pen (surprised): please? Are you okay?
Cat: No, I´m not okay. I´m In the bathroom, doing my business and I have a weirdo watching my every move.

Pen: really? Where?

Francis ogles the Pen.

Pen (cont.): Who? Me?
Cat: Who else is here?
Pen: I don´t know. I don´t keep track of your imaginary friends.

Cat: I´m warning you!
Pen: Oh yeah? What´re you going to do about it?
Cat: Don´t say I didn´t warn you.
Pen: I´m not afraid of you.

Suddenly…

Bzzzz… (fart/long and loud)

Francis exhales like he just gave birth to a ghost.

Cat: ah….

The Pen suddenly “feels/smells” something ominous.

Pen (outraged): good God pussycat! Did you swallow a dead corpse or something?
Cat: I warned you.
Pen (unable to stand it): Good God!

The Pen “runs” off.

Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Suddenly Jason enters the kitchen.

Jason: Hey Francis… (the smell hits him like a baseball bat to the nose)… Oh my God Francis!
Cat (playing innocent): what?

Jason rushes to open the window and sticks his head out.

Jason (exhales): ha… Francis?
Cat: what?
Jason: What the hell did you eat?
Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha!

The end!

2018_ Joana Teixeira