Francis, the cat, is in his bed by the living room window, when the Pen enters the room.

“It” looks dead serious.

Francis lifts his head as soon as he spots the Pen “gliding” his way.

The sleepy cat lifts an eyebrow, showing his curiosity spiking as he notices the Pen hesitating.

Cat: What do you…?
Pen (nears the cat): Francis!
Cat (startled): what?

Pen: I have something very serious to tell you.
Cat: okay… but, can we just not?
Pen: Not what?
Cat: start this?

Pen: start what?
Cat: arguing…
Pen: Francis, I´m not here to argue with you.
Cat (doubtful): You´re not?

Pen: no.
Cat: to mock me then.
Pen: No.

Cat: Then why are you here?
Pen: to say goodbye.
Cat: why?
Pen: why what?

Cat: why are you here to say goodbye?
Pen: because I´m leaving.
Cat (excited): Really?

Pen: yes.
Cat: You´re just messing with me, as per usual.
Pen: I´m really not.
Cat: you´re not?

Pen: No. I´m leaving.
Cat: Why?
Pen: because I have to.
Cat: when are you coming back?

Pen: I don´t know.
Cat: but…
Pen: So, I guess this is goodbye.

The Pen turns around and starts “walking” away.

Cat: wait!
Pen (turns back): what is it Francis?
Cat: where are you going?
Pen: I can´t tell you that.

Cat: why not?
Pen: I just can´t.
Cat: are you coming back?

Pen: I don´t know.
Cat: You don´t know?
Pen: No.
Cat: Then, what do you know?

Pen: Just that I´m leaving.
Cat: will I ever see you again?
Pen: I can´t answer that.
Cat: why not?

Pen: Because I don´t know…
Cat (sys, annoyed): Pen, if this really is goodbye, I have to say that it has been incredibly displeasing to know you and I hope to never see you again.

Pen: I really wasn´t expecting this from you Francis…
Cat: why not?
Pen: I thought we were friends.
Cat: so it´s my fault you have a loose screw inside that ink of a brain of yours?

Pen: so disappointing…
Cat: bye. Oh and Pen?
Pen: what?
Cat: Let´s not get in touch.

Pen: You seriously need to read a book, or a dictionary. Maybe a grammar book.
Cat: yes, I´ll try and forget about that.
Pen (sys): Huh…

Cat (excited):Bye!
Pen (shaking “its” head): So disappointing.
Cat (happy): yeah!

The Pen just disappears.

Francis gets up and runs off happily screaming.

Cat: Finally!

Hours later:

Francis is splashed on the kitchen floor, belly up, snoring.

The Pen comes along, deviant smile on “its” lips.

Pen (girly voice): oh Francis?
Cat (slurring): yes?
Pen (girly voice): wakey, wakey pussycat…

Francis turns over and opens his eyes.

The Pen is right in his face.

Pen: BOO!
Cat (screaming): Ah!
Pen (breaks out laughing): Ha! Ha! Ha!

Cat: You liar!
Pen: I beg your pardon?
Cat: No pardon! You lied!
Pen: I did no such thing.

Cat: yes, you did!
Pen: When?
Cat: earlier. You came to me and you said you were leaving.
Pen: yes.

Cat: Ha! See? You lied!
Pen: I didn´t lie.
Cat: Yes, you did!

Pen: No. I said I was leaving. And I left.
Cat: No you didn´t! You´re right here.
Pen: Now I am. But earlier, when I came to you…

Cat (interrupts): You said goodbye and that you were leaving!
Pen: And I left.
Cat: but you´re right here!
Pen: because I left and then I came back.

Cat: where did you go?
Pen: that´s none of your business.
Cat: I hate you!
Pen: Love you too stink ass.

The end!

2018_ Joana Teixeira