Francis, the cat, is in his living room.

The Pen comes along and finds Francis highly excited about something.

The Pen´s curiosity spikes.

Pen (to “itself”): what could possibly have happened to make that crazy cat this insanely happy?

Francis is so entertained, he doesn´t even notice the Pen approaching him.

Pen (cont./devious smile/yelling): hello Francis!
Cat (unfazed): hi.
Pen: what?

Cat: I said hi.
Pen: I heard you.
Cat: well, if you heard me, then the least you could do is say hi back, don´t you think?

Pen: Hi.
Cat: hi.
Pen: so…

Cat: yes?
Pen: what´re you so happy about?
Cat: Can´t you see?

Pen (confused): see what? A deranged and drunkard specimen, then yes, I do.
Cat (completely clueless): No. (points down) Look at all this money!

The Pen finally notices that Francis is laying on top of something.

Francis is surrounded by a bunch of colorful bills.

Pen (concerned): Francis? What did you do?
Cat (innocent): Me?
Pen: yes, you! Where did all that money come from?

Cat: It was on a box on the table.
Pen: And you just took it?
Cat (apologetic): what?

Pen: Francis, that´s a lot of money.
Cat (excited): I know, right?
Pen: is that Jason´s?

Cat (playing innocent): I don´t know…
Pen (dumbstruck): you don’t know…?
Cat: It was on the table…

Pen: and you just took it?
Cat: yes…
Pen: dumb cat, don´t you think Jason´s going to be upset? I mean, you just took his money!

Cat: but… it was just there… on the table.
Pen: wrecked cat, you´re stealing from your human. He´s going to be upset.
Cat: I don´t care.

Pen: You don´t?
Cat: no. I´m rich! I can do whatever I want. I can buy whatever I want.
Pen: even a new human?
Cat: If I want.

Pen: stupid creature, just how much money do you think you have there?
Cat (excited): Millions!
Pen: you´re insane.

Cat: Shut up!
Pen (notices Jason coming over): oh crap!
Cat (clueless): what?

Jason (upset): Francis!
Cat: ah balls…
Jason: Francis, are you crazy?
Cat: I’m rich. Go away!

Jason breaks out laughing.

Jason: Ha! Ha! Ha!

Francis gets incredibly confused.

Cat: why are you laughing?
Jason: you crazy cat, what were you planning on doing with all that Monopoly money?
Cat (dead serious): buy a private island.

Jason starts to pick up the bills.

Cat: hey! Thief!

Francis tries, uselessly, to hide some of the bills under him.

Jason: what were you thinking?
Cat: French champagne!

Jason lifts Francis and takes the bills he was trying to hide.

Cat (bitching): thief!

Jason sets Francis down on the floor and after collecting all the bills, he leaves.

The Pen comes back.

Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat (clueless): what´re you laughing about?
Pen: you really don´t have a clue, do you?

Cat: a clue about what?
Pen: Monopoly money.
Cat: it´s money!

Pen: you truly do amaze me.
Cat (proud of himself): I do?
Pen: yes.

Cat (curious): How so?
Pen: you amaze meat how insanely and incredibly stupid you can get.
Cat (smile fades): what?

Pen: it´s fake money.
Cat: liar!
Pen: it´s true. Monopoly is a game.

Cat: you´re just jealous I got all that money.
Pen: It´s pretend money. You can´t buy anything with it.
Cat: oh yeah?

Pen: yeah.
Cat: liar! You just don´t want me to use that money.
Pen: oh but that´s where you´re wrong.
Cat: am I now?

Pen: yes.
Cat: how so?

Pen: If that money was real, and you could use it to do whatever you wanted, you´d end up doing something incredibly stupid with it. And that would result in me having another amazing reason to mock you relentlessly.

Cat: I hate you!
Pen (blows him a kiss): love you too stinkball!

The end!

2018_Joana Teixeira