Francis the cat is in his living room doing God knows what when the Pen comes along.

The Pen approaches Francis, stealthily, trying to catch the crazy cat of guard.

As the Pen nears Francis…

Cat: I´ve seen you, now go away!
Pen (startled): who´re you talking to?
Cat (turns to face the Pen): Seriously? There´s no one else here. Who else could I possibly be talking to?

Pen: How the heck should I know? I don´t keep track of your imaginary friends.
Cat: Are you sure about that?
Pen (thinks): …yes…

Cat: anyways, go away!
Pen: But… I don´t want to.
Cat: How´s that my problem?

Pen: Francis, what´re you doing?
Cat: That´s none of your business.
Pen: Of course it is.
Cat: It really isn´t.

Francis turns his back to the Pen, leaving the latter fuming with curiosity.

Pen: Francis?
Cat (annoyed): what? What do you want?
Pen: why do you want me to leave?

Cat (sys in annoyance/turns to the Pen): Pen, I always want you to leave. As a matter of fact I would love for you to never come back here again.

Pen (annoyed): what in the heck is the matter with you? Why are you being so mean?
Cat: Oh I´m sorry… I´m being mean?
Pen (dead serious): yes.
Cat: So what if I´m being mean? You´re always mean to me!

Pen: yes, but, that´s my natural state. Yours is drunkard and confused.
Cat: shut up you idiot.
Pen: see? You did it again!
Cat: did what?

Pen: You talked back to me!
Cat: I always talk back to you.
Pen: Yes, but with nice words and compliments.

Cat (utterly confused): Are you high on something? Did Jason load you up with dish detergent instead of ink?

Pen (dead serious): No.
Cat: are you sure about that?
Pen: yes.
Cat: For some apparent reason, I don´t believe you.

Pen: you do know that´s not my problem, right?
Cat: Can´t you just, for once, be a nice Pen, and leave me the heck alone?
Pen: No.
Cat: why?

Pen: Haven´t you figured out yet?
Cat: figured what?
Pen: The sole purpose of my existence is to importunate you.

Francis sys in annoyance.

Cat: how about this? You go away, now, and next time you come back I´ll just let you mock me relentlessly just like you love to?

Pen: No.
Cat: why the heck not?
Pen:  because I want to mock you relentlessly now.
Cat (losing his temper): Now listen here, you hellish creature. I…

Pen (interrupts): wow! Hold up kitty cat!
Cat (fuming): what?
Pen (softly/mocking): language…

Cat (in disbelief): are you serious?
Pen: very.
Cat: You have an incredibly sad existence.
Pen: No. You have a sad existence. I´m just an incredible eager spectator.

Cat: I hate you.
Pen: Oh please, I´m your one and only fan.
Cat: You´re my curse, that´s what you are.
Pen: Oh come on Francis, don´t say that.

Cat: why not?
Pen: you´re hurting my feelings.
Cat: you have feelings?
Pen: No.

Cat: Leave me alone.
Pen: No!

Francis turns his back to the Pen, grabs something and runs off.

Pen (annoyed): hey!

Francis is gone and the Pen tries to follow but can´t.

Pen (annoyed): Ah crap! (curious): what in the world was he so happy about?

The Pen leaves, fuming.

Outside.

Francis exits the house with an object in his mouth.

He reaches the backyard and drops something to the floor.

A chocolate bar.

Cat: Just you and me now, my dear…

Francis uses his claws to cut open the wrapping paper keeping him from his favorite treat.

As it lies open in front of him, the eager cat begins salivating.

Cat (eager): Oh I´m going to enjoy this…

Francis starts to eat his favorite candy.

Cat (cont./mouth full): … no way in hell was I going to share my treat with that hell-bent pen…

He continues to enjoy his chocolate.

The end!

2018_Joana Teixeira