Francis the cat is in the living room, laid down on the floor.

In front of him sits a large fuming bowl, with a dark liquid.

Francis sys in annoyance.

Cat: hah….
Pen: Hey there pussycat.
Cat: Hi Pen.

Pen (surprised): what? No “kiss my butt!”, “leave me alone!”, or some response like that?
Cat: I´m bored. And I´m sick.
Pen (concerned): what happened?

Cat: I went outside and…
Pen (interrupting): … and you got sick!
Cat: why do you always do that?
Pen: do what?

Cat: interrupt me when I´m talking.
Pen: Because you´re an incredibly slow talker.
Cat: I´m a what?
Pen: you´re slow!

Cat: slow?
Pen: yeah. You go up and down and to the side, left, right, etc.
Cat: are you high on something?
Pen: what? No! Why?

Cat: A: you´re not making any sense. B: You´re not making any sense.
Pen: You just said the same thing twice.
Cat: did I now?
Pen: anyways, moving along. What´s the matter with you?

Cat: The flu.
Pen: The flu?
Cat: yes.
Pen: what´s that, your new hairdo?

The Pen breaks out laughing.

Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
Cat (annoyed): No, you hellish creature. I´m sick.
Pen: Pussycat, you were born sick.

Cat: what?
Pen: what?
Cat: I don´t feel so good.

Pen: then… what´s with the whiskey bowl in front of you?
Cat: what are you talking about? This is tea.
Pen (doubtful): yeah, right.

Cat: I´m serious.
Pen: That´s impossible.
Cat: Why?
Pen: well, I´m here, for starters…

Cat: what are you babbling?
Pen: did you mix something in that “tea”?
Cat: No. Jason gave me this.

Pen: Jason…
Cat: yes.
Pen: okay…

Cat: Pen?
Pen: yes?
Cat: tell me a story.
Pen: say what?

Cat: tell me a story.
Pen: why?
Cat: because I´m sick and incredibly bored.

Francis pouts and makes a “please” face.

The Pen rolls “its” eyes and sys in annoyance.

Pen (resigns): fine. What kind of story do you want?
Cat:  An adventure.
Pen: An adv… (sys). If you dare fall asleep before I finish my story, I swear I´ll stick your tail in the electric socket.

Cat: I promise I won’t.
Pen: Alright.

Francis lies down and gets comfortable, expectant of the story he´s about to hear.

Pen (cont.): Once upon a time, there was…
Cat (snoring like a machine gun): zzzz….

The Pen just stands there, fuming.

Pen: stupid cat, I barely even started. (sys). Whatever, you being sick is no fun for me.

The Pen looks at Francis concerned.

Pen (cont.): feel better soon Francis.
Cat (sleeping/slurring): thank you Pen…
Pen (bored): ah balls…

The end!

2018_ Joana Teixeira