Francis, the cat, is in his bed, in the living room.

He´s fast asleep when suddenly …

Cat (with a jolt): I´m awake!

He looks around but soon realizes he´s alone, or so he thinks.

The cat lies back down and closes his eyes in hopes of resuming his beloved dream, the one in which he swims in an infinite ocean of magic milk.

Suddenly he feels a cold Chill Cover him from head to “paws” and opens one eye to once again check his surroundings.

Nothing.

Cat: Huh…

He closes his eye, but as he does so, he feels yet again the same cold chill cover the entirety of his body.

Francis sys, highly annoyed, but before he can utter a word…

Pen (screaming): Happy New Year!
Cat (complaining): please shut up…
Pen: Jeeze… who peed in you whiskey?

Cat: go away!
Pen: I said “Happy New Year!”, the least you could do is say it back.
Cat: why?

Pen: to be Polite.
Cat: Why would I be polite with you? You´re never polite with me.
Pen: of course I am.
Cat: Oh, I´m sorry. It´s true. You are. When you want something from me.

Pen: that´s not true.
Cat: fine. You want to be polite?
Pen: sure why not, it´s the New…

Cat (interrupting): Go away!
Pen: why?
Cat: because I´m seriously hangover, my head hurts and…

Pen: Bla! Bla! Bla! When are you not hangover?
Cat: stupid stick, go away!
Pen (ignoring Francis´s response): plus it´s already the fifth.

Cat: fifth what?
Pen: day of the year.
Cat: what´s your point?

Pen: How much exactly did you drink?
Cat (laughing): Ha! Ha! Ha! You´re expecting me to know?
Pen: You need to be careful Francis.

Cat: careful with what?
Pen: You drink too much.
Cat: pft… no I don´t…

Pen: yes, you do.
Cat: well, look at it this way, if I stop drinking, you stop existing.
Pen (surprised/deflecting): what? Are you crazy? That´s not… (changing the subject) anyways, I just wanted to wish you a Happy New Year.

Cat: Happy New Year stick.
Pen: yeah, bye…
Cat: okay… zzz zzz zzz…

A bit far away from Francis, the Pen looks on.

Pen: Is it possible that cat…? What? No! Who am I kidding? He´s dumb as a door. Ha! Ha… ah crap…

The end!

Happy New Year

2018_Joana Teixeira