Rafael, the bird, is on “his” tree in Jason´s backyard.
He´s happily eating when suddenly:
Cat (from inside the house): Help!
Rafael stops eating, lifts his head up as he thinks he might have heard something.
Instead of running to Francis´s aid, he resumes his meal.
Rafael (mumbling in between bites): That crazy cat must really hate baths…
From the corner of his eye, he spots Raul, the rat, running towards the house.
Rafael: what the…? Oh boy…
He flies over and lands in front of Raul, cutting him off.
Rafael (cont.): Hey Raul.
Raul: Hey, did you hear Francis´s cry for help?
Rafael: yeah, but he´s a drama queen.
Raul: or, he´s in trouble.
Rafael: You really think so?
Raul: Raf!
Rafael (annoyed): Okay…
They both rush inside the house through the dog door, or in this case, cat door.
What they find leaves them speechless.
Francis, the cat, is angry as hell, smoke coming out of his ears, and Mr. Pebbles, the rabbit, has scratch marks on his face.
He has his paw on his wound to try and sooth it.
Raul: Francis?
Rafael: you okay pussycat?
Cat: yeah, I´m fine.
Raul: who´s the rabbit?
Mr. Pebbles: I am…
He gets one cold look from Francis and immediately shuts up.
Raul: who´s your friend?
Cat: This thing… is not my friend!
Rafael: did he barge in?
Cat: No, Jason brought him along.
Raul: why did you cry for help?
Rafael: More importantly, why is he bleeding?
Cat (irritated): he´s lucky he´s not dead!
Raul: I don´t understand, Francis, did you get jealous that Jason got another pet?
Cat: what? No! I don´t care about that! Although, had I been given the choice, I´d choose a puppy…
Francis looks at Mr. Pebbles with disdain.
Cat (cont.): … not a rabbit.
Rafael (dumbstruck): I´m sorry, did you just say you´d like a dog as a brother?
Cat: What? No, I said as a pet, why would I want a brother?
Rafael: sure, as a pet… You truly are one weird cat.
Cat: oh please, I´m awesome!
Mr. Pebbles: Ind…
Cat: shut you pie hole!
Raul: Francis, you´re not one to be violent. Why are you being so mean?
Cat (offended): I´m being mean?
Raul/Rafael: YES!
Cat: You two have no idea what this… thing, just tried to do.
Raul: Come on Francis, he´s just a bunny.
Rafael: and he´s half your size.
Cat: he wanted us to mate.
Rafael: yeah, goodbye bunny.
Raul: you´re on your own.
Mr. Pebbles: I apologize. I thought we were on the same page.
Cat: Dude, we´re not even on the same planet, let alone…
Rafael (interrupting): well…
Cat: what?
Rafael: you kind of… how can I put this…
Raul nears Rafael.
Raul (whispering): choose your words very carefully.
They both eye Francis who’s extremely infuriated.
Rafael (rethinks): never mind, (to the rabbit) Bad bunny!
Mr Pebbles eyes the three animals in front of him and swallows in dry.
To be continued…
2017_Joana Teixeira
