Jason arrives home, with Francis´s carries in hand.
He sets the carrier down on the floor and opens the door for Francis to come out.
No cat! Francis stays put.
Jason: Francis?
He peeks inside.
Jason finds Francis in shock, frozen in the back of the carrier.
Jason: Francis? We´re home buddy…
Jason is about to reach inside to drag Francis out, when the cat rushes by him.
Jason: What the…? Crazy cat!
Francis runs to the kitchen and hides underneath the kitchen table.
Jason (from the other room): Francis I´m going out. Be a good boy.
Cat: Bite me!
After he hears the front door close, Francis comes out of hiding.
As he´s about to leave the kitchen, something catches his eye.
Cat: oh It´s happening! I so deserve this.
He jumps on the stool next to the table and then makes his way to the bottle.
Fortunately for him, it only has a small, fragile plastic cork on.
As soon as he takes it off, it falls to the side and the yummy nectar he loves so much pours out.
Francis´s eyes glimmer with excitement and he starts to drink feverously.
Latter…
After sating his thirst and drowning his sorrows, Francis leaves the kitchen and goes to the living room for a much needed rest.
He jumps on the couch, or at least tries to, as his butt hangs over and he ends up falling backwards.
Pen: Need a hand?
Cat (sys in annoyance): Today is not my day!
Pen: what´re you bitching about this time?
Cat (trying to stand up): Have you ever had one of those days?
Pen: You mean your “lady business days”? No, I´m a Pen.
Cat: (angry): NO! I mean one of those days where everything goes wrong?
Before the Pen can answer.
Cat (cont.): And what the hell do you mean “lady business days”? I´ve told you a hundred times, I a BOY!
Pen: Yeah, you keep saying that.
The Pen finds Francis eyeing it, highly irritated.
Pen (cont.): what?
Cat: do you want me to answer your question or not?
Pen: I didn´t ask you a question.
Cat: Yes, you did!
Pen: Did I?
Cat: yes!
Pen: I don´t remember.
Cat: You wouldn´t. You´re a stick.
Pen: Okay, fine. Tell me Francis, what happened?
Cat: You really want to know?
Pen: Oh for Pete´s sake.
Francis´s eyes open in shock and he nears the Pen, menacingly.
Cat: what did you just say?
The Pen rolls “its eyes” and shakes “its head”.
Francis looks to the side, thinking.
Pen: Hey!
Cat: What?
Pen: So?
Cat: What was I saying?
Pen: You´re expecting me to know?
Cat: Shut up! It was Petey!
Pen: who?
Cat: He´s the head security guard´s dog, at Jason´s work.
Pen (concerned): Francis, did he hurt you?
Cat: what? No.
Pen: Then, what did he do?
Cat: we talked…
Pen: yes…
Cat: A then we had a drink…
Pen (interrupting): Or a dozen…
Cat: Hey! Will you shut up and let me finish my story?
Pen: yes, the story, please continue.
Cat: And then we had some more, and then out of the blue, do you know what he tells me?
Pen: The suspense is killing me. Literally.
Cat: That we´re getting married.
Pen: Mazel tov!
Cat: what?
Pen: well, if you´re marrying him that means one of you is pregnant right?
Cat: NO! Stupid stick, I´m a cat, he´s a dog!
Pen: So? I don´t judge.
Cat: I´m a boy!
The pen looks to the side and mumbles something Francis, can´t make out.
Cat (yelling): I am a BOY!
Pen: Okay.
Cat: and Petey´s a boy as well.
Pen: so what? It´s the 21st century. You can always adopt.
Cat: I seriously hate you.
Pen (grinning): Love you too stink ass!
Cat: You´re an idiot!
Pen: Francis?
Cat: what?
The Pen blows him a kiss.
Cat (cont.): Just die!
Pen: Ha! Ha! Ha!
The end!
2017_Joana Teixeira
