Jason arrives at his work and enters his office with Francis´s carrier in hand.
He enters his office and sets down the carrier on the floor and opens the door so his cat can come out.
Francis has his little tie around his neck. He´s very proud of himself.
Jason: Now Francis, promise me you´re going to be a good boy, okay?
Cat: who do you think you´re talking to? I´m awesome!
Jason: Francis?
Cat (annoyed): yes, yes. I´ll behave.
Jason: good boy!
Francis raises an eyebrow in suspicion.
Cat: Since when…?
Shakes his head.
Cat (cont.): Nah! It can´t be.
Jason leaves his office and leaves Francis alone.
Francis starts exploring Jason´s office. This is the first time Jason has ever brought him here.
This is Jason´s new office since he got promoted.
Francis starts nosing around and as he reaches the door he nearly has a heart attack as he finds a huge dog eyeing him.
Cat (screaming): Ah!
Petey: Hello.
Cat (trying to catch his breath): When… how… who are you?
Petey: I´m Petey.
Cat: Petey?
Petey: yes.
Cat: what are you doing here?
Petey: I´m the head security dog.
Cat (still unable to breathe properly): Head security… what?
Petey: dog.
Cat: yes, I can see that you´re a … oh for heaven´s sake…
Francis sits down on the floor and breathes in deep and the exhales.
Cat (exhales loudly): Ha….
Petey: what´re you doing?
Cat: centering myself.
Petey: What?
Francis stands up once more and nears Petey.
Cat: who are you?
Petey: I´m Petey.
Cat: what´re you doing here?
Petey: I told you, I´m the…
Cat (rudely interrupts): yeah, yeah, the somewhat dog.
Petey (pouting): head security…
Cat: That´s what I said.
Petey: No, you said…
Cat (interrupts once more): anyways, what´re you doing here?
Petey: working.
Cat: doing what exactly?
Petey: I´m a security dog. I secure the space. And if I find an intruder I chase it out.
Cat (bored/ignoring Petey): yes, that sounds like fun.
Petey nears Francis and eyes it from above as he´s twice as big as Francis.
Cat (looking up): Can I help you with something?
Petey (looking down/menacing): who are you? What are you doing here? How did you get here?
Cat (unaffected): Francis the adorable, amazing cat. Jason brought me here. As for the why part, I have to be honest, I don´t have a clue.
Petey steps back and relaxes.
Petey: so you´re Mr. Jason´s cat?
Cat: I like to think that instead of me being his cat, he´s my human.
Petey: what?
The Pen somehow managed to escape Jason´s briefcase.
Pen (screaming): YOU!
Petey: Oh God!
Cat (suspicious): you two know each other.
Petey: somewhat.
Pen: This mammoth…
Francis raises his eyebrows in shock as the Pen speaks.
Pen (cont.): … peed on me!
Petey: I´m very sorry about that.
Francis blinks a few times in amazement.
He then looks from Petey to the Pen, back and forth a few times, until he bursts with laughter.
Cat: Ha! Ha! Ha! Oh My God!
Francis walks over to Petey and puts his paw around his neck.
Cat (cont.): Please tell me there are pictures.
Petey (embarrassed): no…
Pen: stupid cat!
Cat (ignores the Pen): Petey, I have to say, right now you are my favorite person in this entire world.
Petey: I´m a dog, not a person.
Cat: Fine, favorite creature, in the entire Universe.
Pen (irritated): Francis!
Cat (unaffected): yes?
Before the Pen is able to say anything, Francis starts laughing uncontrollably once more.
Cat (falls to the floor): Ha! Ha! Ha! This is so good.
Petey: I didn´t mean to.
Cat: say what?
Petey: I saw a talking Pen. I thought it was demonic, so I wanted to exorcise it.
Cat (laughing): well, Petey, You´re not wrong.
Petey: I´m not?
Cat: no.
Pen: Francis!
Cat (ignores the Pen): It is a demonic Pen.
Petey (surprised). Really?
Cat: Really.
Petey (confused): But, if it was demonic, how come it didn´t die when I peed on it.
Cat: why did you think it would die?
Petey: I drank holy water before I peed on it.
Cat: what?
Petey: I went to Mary´s office and I found a bottle she keeps with holy water and I drank from it.
Francis looks at the Pen with a knowing smile.
Cat: Petey why don´t you show me where Mary keeps this holy water of hers.
Petey: why?
Cat: Maybe if we both drink it, we can exorcise this demon together.
Petey: you really think so?
Pen: Oh for heaven´s sake.
Pen “rolls” its eyes and “shakes” its head in disbelief.
Cat: Oh I know so.
Petey: Okay, let´s go.
Petey takes Francis with him to Mary´s office leaving the Pen behind.
Pen: Great, stupid has met idiot. The world is doomed.
The Pen “glides” away back to Jason´s briefcase.
Two hours later.
Francis and Petey are both plashed on the floor after having drunk the content on Mary´s flask.
Cat: I have to say Petey, you are a very nice dog.
Petey: I have to say Francis; you are a very nice cat.
Cat: Thank you Petey.
Petey: who knows, maybe one day we´ll be able to get married.
Francis panics and rolls to the side, scared out of his mind.
Cat (fearfull): what did you just say?
Petey just laughs.
The end!
2017_Joana Teixeira
