Jackson Parker, a Local legend in the coal town Markston, Indiana, found an epic life hack this year. By acting like a total asshole for the last twelve months, he’s practically guaranteed that Santa will bring him enough coal to earn him a nice paid vacation from the evil depths of the mines.

“It wasn’t really intentional, It’s just my typical overall temperament.” Parker said when asked how he came up with his vacay earning scheme.

However, his answer doesn’t have us convinced. I think the 45-year-old cave-dweller is just being humble. I talked to one his coworkers to get the real scoop.

“No, yeah, Jack’s just a dick most of the time. Oh, also he’s only 22, he just works in a mine.” Said fellow Coal Miner and current ICU resident Kyle Mackenzie.

Finally, I asked Parker how he’d be spending his newly free month. beach trip? The Bahamas? Maybe skiing in Park City?

“I’m gonna lay in bed and cough blood into a handkerchief… Might start Ted Lasso.”

I think we can all agree the whole thing is the exact kind of heartwarming story we need this Christmas.

The post This Coal Miner Acted Naughty All Year and Can Now Take a Month-Long Vacation in January appeared first on Robot Butt.