Staring out their windows in disapproval at his unenthusiastic and just plain cavalier attitude, it was reported Monday morning by friends and neighbors of the Shusters, that their 3-year-old dickhead son is just not impressed at all and “actually pretty dismissive,” some stated, of the Garbage Truck which makes its rounds in their cul-de-sac every week before sunrise.

“Not sure what’s up that kid’s ass,” remarked August and Eileen Shuster’s kitty-corner neighbor, Bill Arnold, “but he’s just a prick when it comes to getting excited about the garbage Truck that loops around our street each week. Doesn’t run to the window, doesn’t open the door, and scamper barefoot down the driveway in his pajamas… nothing.” Continued Arnold as he started to drag his empty pin back to his garage, “little asshole.”

“At first I thought maybe he was just shy,” began Sarah Russo, whose kids like to go over and jump on the Shuster’s trampoline on the weekends, “but he shrugs Jason and Julie off every time they ask him to go see it [truck]. Kinda snobby if you ask me. Like he doesn’t have time for them,” she said, shaking her head.

“Shit, I’ve even pumped the hydraulic arm a few extra times after the claw gripped the bin to give him a kind of a show… ” started Eric, the family’s waste management driver, “Nah, wasn’t havin’ none of it. Douchebag just closed his curtains and went back to playing. This kid’s cold, man.” Eric added that although he has a tiny bit of faith their son may eventually come around, he’s not holding his breath as the bratty little fuckface won’t even say hi to the mailman.

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