Selections of Lyrics From Popular Songs as Imagined After the Seafood Buffet

Tell me why

Ain’t nothing but a gut-ache

Tell me why

This Buffet was a mistake

Tell me why

I never want to hear you say

I ate it that way

Left the clams out, now they’re dangerous

Here we are now, please hydrate us

I feel nauseous, not contagious 

Here we are now, please hydrate us

Oh, I just died in your arms tonight 

It must have been something I ate

I just died in your arms tonight

Oh, I just died in your arms tonight

It must have been not so fresh fish

I should have walked away

“All you can eat” they say

Hey, I just ate shrimp, 

And this is crazy, 

It tasted spoiled

I’ll throw up, maybe

We couldn’t eat it all

Creatures from the deep

Caught my vomit in my hands 

Cause the squid, it was cheap

It started out with a fish, how did it end up like this

It was only a fish

It was only a fish

And now I can’t really sleep

I just threw up in a cab

I think the fish it was old

And now it’s getting quite bad

My crabcake brings all the boys to the yard

And they’re like, it’s spoiled and hard

Damn right, it’s spoiled and hard

That’ll teach me, I used so much sauce

‘Cause I knew it was trouble when I walked in

So shame on me now 

Went to a buffet I’d never been 

And really went to town, oh

I knew it was trouble when I walked in

So shame on me now 

Gorged on a buffet I’d never been

Now I’m lying on the cold hard ground

Oh, oh, buffet, buffet, buffet

Oh, oh, buffet, buffet, buffet

I would do anything for love

Any diner you’d been dreaming of

But I just can’t eat that

Cause I’ll never stop thinking of the night I threw up all of that fish

Oh, I would do anything for love

Oh, I would do anything for love

I would do anything for love

but I won’t eat that

Yesterday

Stomach troubles seemed so far away

Now it looks as though they’re here to stay

Wish I had pizza yesterday

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