Cholera: The all-natural cure for constipation.

Human papillomavirus: If it’s human, it must be good.

Chickenpox: The viral pox of champions.

Adenovirus: Hell yes to ade-no-virus!

Shingles: For people who enjoy excruciatingly painful rashes.

Measles: I’d rather have me-sles than you-sles.

Hepatitis A: It’ll make you yellow.

Seasonal influenza: Guaranteed to go viral.

Hepatitis B: Now you know where your liver is.  

Polio: Vaccinating for polio is a poli-no, but paralysis is a poli-yes.

Meningococcal meningitis: Your all-access pass to a prolonged hospitalization.   

Pertussis: Good to the last (whooping) cough.

Diphtheria: Give your breathing a real challenge!

Mumps: Making real men, one painfully swollen testicle at a time.

German measles/rubella: Say ja to congenital heart defects, nein to the MMR vaccine.

Japanese encephalitis: Swells your brain, not your feet.

Haemophilus influenzae (H. flu) type b: Just H. flu it.

Typhoid fever: It’ll keep you warm at night.

Malaria: Better living through mosquito-borne Disease.

Yellow fever: When you’re hankering for a high Fever, make it a yellow fever.

Inhalation anthrax: A great band, an even more awesome lung disease.

Pneumococcal pneumonia: Connecting people through respiratory infection.

Smallpox: Better than bigpox.                      

Tetanus: Got lockjaw?

Yersinia pestis/plague: Make America Plague Again.

Rabies: One bite is all it takes.

Ebola: Like a horror movie, only worse.

Rotavirus: The no-cost colon cleanse.

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