So... I thinked I fucked up /b/
>Be me yesterday
>Wanting to fap to something new
>Find girl dressed up as a chicken squeezing an egg out of her ass
>If it works it works
>Makes chicken noises
>Was oddly very sexy
>Came buckets
>FF next day
>Wake up dizzy as fuck and everything spinning
>Goes on for hours
>Decide to go to doctor
>Incredibly low blood pressure
>She tells me to get my blood checked>Small doctor's office, had to go somewhere else to get my blood checked
>Get there and grab a ticket
>Waiting room full as fuck
>Have to wait at least an hour
>About 50 minutes in a mother with a baby coming in
>Baby of course crying loud as fuck while I'm dizzy as fuck
>DearGodKillMeNow.jpg
>Mother grabs some low budget toys placed in the waiting room
>It's one of those toys that makes animal sounds
>Mostly cow, dog and pig sounds
>Suddenly I hear something from that toy
>A chicken noise
>Remind myself of last night
>Tell myself to not get a boner
>Obviously this means I get a dick hard as diamond
>Pretty loose pants too
>In a crowded waiting room, feeling like throwing up with a dick everyone can see
>Finally get called in
>I stand up and everyone looks at me
>Quickly walk to the doctors office
>Ugly fat man doctor
>Without handing him my file I say I have erictile dysfunction
>Seeing this god awful man makes my dick jump back inside
>Actual words: "Well, there goes my schnozzle! Thanks doc!"
>Stand there for like 5 seconds in utter silence and just walk out
>Now at home with a dangerously low blood pressure and everything spinning
>Can never go back
>Be me yesterday
>Wanting to fap to something new
>Find girl dressed up as a chicken squeezing an egg out of her ass
>If it works it works
>Makes chicken noises
>Was oddly very sexy
>Came buckets
>FF next day
>Wake up dizzy as fuck and everything spinning
>Goes on for hours
>Decide to go to doctor
>Incredibly low blood pressure
>She tells me to get my blood checked>Small doctor's office, had to go somewhere else to get my blood checked
>Get there and grab a ticket
>Waiting room full as fuck
>Have to wait at least an hour
>About 50 minutes in a mother with a baby coming in
>Baby of course crying loud as fuck while I'm dizzy as fuck
>DearGodKillMeNow.jpg
>Mother grabs some low budget toys placed in the waiting room
>It's one of those toys that makes animal sounds
>Mostly cow, dog and pig sounds
>Suddenly I hear something from that toy
>A chicken noise
>Remind myself of last night
>Tell myself to not get a boner
>Obviously this means I get a dick hard as diamond
>Pretty loose pants too
>In a crowded waiting room, feeling like throwing up with a dick everyone can see
>Finally get called in
>I stand up and everyone looks at me
>Quickly walk to the doctors office
>Ugly fat man doctor
>Without handing him my file I say I have erictile dysfunction
>Seeing this god awful man makes my dick jump back inside
>Actual words: "Well, there goes my schnozzle! Thanks doc!"
>Stand there for like 5 seconds in utter silence and just walk out
>Now at home with a dangerously low blood pressure and everything spinning
>Can never go back
read more funny stories
