Listen up, rookies. We’re delivering back Betches Love This College, which is something we give you the no-BS summary of all the schools you’re thinking of applying to. It’s all the sh* t your steering mentor will never say.
With its slogans “Fear the tree! ”( not particularly scared of the light topiary, thanks) and “Go card! ”( still don’t get how a mascot can be a pigment tbh ), Stanford seems quite deserving of the moniker “Nerd Nation.” Honestly, when I first arrived as a freshman, I don’t envision I examined a single cute chap until perhaps January. Fine, that’s an exaggeration. All the charming athletes volunteer going in the newcomers to get early housing.
However, if you look beyond the nerdy trappings, you find local schools filled with insanely talented students, provoking professors, and yep, even a few really hot sons.( This is starting to sound like a YA novel .~ ATAGEND) And the beautiful Spanish colonial architecture( haters will say it looks like Taco Bell) and the eternal sunshine don’t hurt, either.
Stanford’s appallingly low-toned agreement pace determines it “the worlds largest” exclusive institution in the two countries. If that doesn’t stroke the ego, tell me what the fuck is? In seek to get in, you need a perfect GPA and exemplary extracurriculars. Real lessons include: making the Olympics, having a million dollar corporation by 18, or perceiving the antidote for Ebola. If that doesn’t apply, then hopefully your parents are capable of providing a brand-new library.
Yes, a huge clump of the student population is not see the light of day since they are code 24/7. And yes, our administration suctions and is currently in the process of assassinate amusing on campus( more on this later ).
But for the remaining 10% of our student organization, there manages to be a wide range of entertaining acts (* partying…school…brunch…gym/ sport…partying…internship…partying *). Most of the student torso almost killed themselves in high school to get now. So now, some people really want to unwind once they arrive.
Does that signify seldom wrecking university belonging by rending entrances off refrigerators or propelling television receiver off roof? It looms so.( Some of the student mas is also quite stupid, despite their adoption here indicating otherwise ). But it also signifies debating politics in our sorority’s lounge till 4am, nutritious dinners at True Foods, and yes, a year of perpetual imbibe( aka sophomore time, when Greek life feels all-encompassing before students recollect they’re at Stanford to get a degree , not just to defendant .) There’s a reason that Stanford is not nicknamed “Nerd Nation, ” but too “Camp Stanford” in the spring.
But firstly, since this is a highly academic clas, let’s discuss every freshmen’s biggest and most premature upset: WTF to Major in.
Majors
Computer Science: CS majors sob endlessly about how hard 107/110 is and can be found in agency hours/ at the LaIR in Tressider waiting for help. Everyone( including me) will ultimately take a CS class, even if it’s totally unrelated to their major. Stanford drums into our front that CS is a important skill for everyone. Honestly, I can’t even grumble because my TA last year was one of the hottest chaps I’d ever seen. I actually registered up to his section just so I could stare at him for an hour. If you don’t give up on CS because it’s “too time-consuming”( speak: hard ), you’ll eventually work at Google or Facebook or Microsoft.~ Just Stanford happenings~
Other engineering majors: IDK exactly what they do. Occasionally I’ll overhear these majors discuss their workload. They never leave Green( the prison-like library on campus) and are the type of people that speculate college is exactly “another challenge to get through” aka people who are doing life wrong.
Humbio( aka Human Biology ): The profs cater to all these basic b* tches that take the Core by investing 2 week on the reasons why 75% of the world is lactose dogmatic, verifying the importance of ensuring that their almond/ oat/ coconut/ soy/ rice/ hemp/ pea milk preference.
Bio( aka Biology…duh ): “Its for” hardos who want four-hour lab and hopeless exams instead of inanely incongruous Humbio exams that seem right out of an AP bio class.
EarthSys( aka Earth Method ): For vegans, good people who care about the environment, and people who want to go on free vacations to the Galapagos.
If not pre-med, any of these majors will rave about how “free” they feel now that they’ve escaped( read: given up) on the organic chemistry pre-med grind( RIP Chem 35 ).
Pre-Meds: Generally one of the above-mentioned majors that freak out about the fact that while they’re killing themselves in Chem 35, the techies have time to get slogged every weekend and will one day start billions while they give a pittance as a doctor.
Math/ Physics: You better be really f* cking smart.
Econ: These students are insecure about the facts of the case that they doing a “weaker” major than CS or even the natural sciences. And they complain about the Core. Endlessly. They’re preoccupied with working for Goldman or BGB or McKinsey or whatever busines people do. The literal merely beings you will ever learn wearing a suit on campus.
PoliSci( Political Science ): Will disappear for a few quarters to “study abroad” in Europe( aka get legally booze for a one-quarter) or Stanford-in-Washington( a phony examine abroad program in DC ). Will start institution wanting to help the world by going into politics. By the end, they’ll be emulating with econ majors for investment chores or applying to statute school.
Psych: “I exactly adoration listening to people’s troubles! Like, did you hear about how Christine get transported to the hospital again last weekend? ”
Humanities: “I know it’s not the most practical major but I just want to follow my passions” … will either sell up, be poor, or marry rich.
The People
Freshmen: Ewwww, do we even care?( Kidding…sort of…Stanford aggressively adores frosh .) The newbies are more apt to be social even though it is they were total f* cking weirdo in high school. They congregate at all-campuses( when the frats are required to throw defendants that allow rookies) and freshmen defendants( when 50 teenagers squeeze into an 8×8 dormitory room ). They likewise enjoy talking about “dorm cherish !! ” as though they’re actually going to speak to anyone on their foyer a year from now.
Upperclassmen: 90% of these students don’t even used to go. The respite are nicknamed the “social 500 ” but to be honest, it’s probably closer to 200. Most social parties are involved with Greek life, but some are on plays units that can’t rush, or didn’t connect but are still the purposes of the social circle. In add-on, some anti-Greek but hard-partying tribes do co-ops( super alternative cooperative wording rooms) instead. Which also presumably have crazy parties.
Speaking of Greek life, it seems all-important sophomore time. Really, the only people who are of interest to it are those affiliated. The rest of the school( and most of the professors) think it’s pretty stupid. “Its probably” because Greek life is perceived as an exclusive group of mostly white-hot, wealthy, privileged students. I’m speaking as someone in a sorority who loves it, but it’s still a disquieting fact of life that ought to change. That being said…
Sororities
Theta, Kappa, and Pi Phi: The top s’rat pickings during Rush( often in that order ), and in general, the ones with the best social schedules. Their reps on campus can be inaccurate person by being, but here ya go…
Theta: Goes the New York/ boarding school crowd. A few are a little too social-climby( one daughter literally once ran around “states parties ” screaming “everybodys got” affection me because I’m a Theta !) but some of them are super chill.
Kappa: Does a lot of the athletes and has a rep for being the rowdiest, but also slightly less united since they are don’t have a physical house, which kind of suctions. But you’ll find them all drawing together in Mirlo anyways.
Pi Phi: This one is a mix of internationals, some studious goody-two-shoes, and some super social daughters. They’ve likewise been on probation for about a billion years.
Beyond those three, Tri-delt is also a popular choice during scoot. It caters to a slightly more alternative community who wants to experience the close ligaments of sisterhood without some of the more superficial aspects.
There are some other sororities more, but those are the most popular/ competitive if you care about that material( and TBH if you’re predicting this, “youre supposed to” do ).
Fraternities
KA: The excellent frat, hands down. It has all the hottest people. Between the entire irrigate polo and men’s volleyball teams( both of which is required recruit people based not only on knowledge but likewise attractiveness from what I’ve seen ), you can’t go wrong. They’re haunted with snappa, and can be found playing it even on a random Monday night when the rest of the campus is studying.
KSig: This is the other top frat. They come off as incredibly douchey, even though they do propel some merriment mixers and even the periodic decently entertaining all-campus. It’s likewise the frat that Evan Spiegel was in…remember that whole email scandal?
Sig Chi: This was a really fun live until their Nationals pulled away their charter because the sons “didn’t adhere to the values of Sigma Chi”( aka they didn’t agree with their Nationals’ sexist, racist, and homophobic qualities ). Just your daily dose of some more aged white dudes f* cking everyone over with their prejudices.
Snu and TDX are other favourite frats. SAE grabs a cluster of football/ baseball people more. But the others are probably my favorite three.
Housing
Freshmen live in either ancient dorms (@ Wilbur/ Stern) or anti-social nicer dormitories (@ West Campus ). So either they’re living in a deteriorating dormitory with 50 years of old vodka and vomit discolours the carpet, or they have no social life. It’s all up to the mercurial quirk of Stanford housing.
Sophomores live in random residences or their Greek mansions, which are also usually low-key dumps. The fact that KSig hasn’t been criticized for stuffing eight people in one chamber and, like, literally deterring a domesticated pig in the house is beyond me. The s’rat lives are somewhat nicer but are stowed in a friendless angle of East Campus because Stanford likes to pretend Greek life doesn’t exist.
Juniors live abroad/ random plazas. Elders tend to live in beautiful houses on the row that are unaffiliated with Greek life. They have a same organization with a private chef and highway better society than traditional dorms.
Things To Do During The Day
Everyone( besides a few actual geniuses that somehow are to be able to outdo at clas whilst being blacked 24/7) surveys a ton. I recommend working outside at Coupa or Tressider with your friends while people-watching for that sizzling player you hooked up with. Dark-green Library is a windowless hellhole and a great region to depart if you need to make yourself feel depressed in order to concentrate.
There’s truly good-for-nothing to do in Palo Alto besides eat out( attend the meat area below ). If you’re sentimentality grandiose you are able drive into San Francisco for the day, but SF is certainly just a dirtier and less exciting edition of New York so…no?
Besides studying and eating, beings actually waste their free time partying( it’s all about that healthful direct/ life poise ). During the come, it’s tailgate SZN (# hard4card) which means wearing wine, imbibing tepid Natty, and pretending to care about football. In the spring, there are a plethora of darties( Dunch, Linner, and Endless KA are the most popular ), which symbolizes foam, waterslides, and blackouts for all.
Things To Do At Night
Palo Alto, though beautiful and surely a great neighbourhood to grow up if you’re 10 and your parents work for Google, is a somewhat boring and exorbitantly expensive college city. Plus, all Palo Alto prohibits are extreme hardos about carding.
So, the nightlife centres around frat parties. Stanford has become lame in the past few years by endlessly putting frats and s’rats on probation. But covert mixers will inevitably appear and there is usually at the least one frat capable of throwing some merriment parties.
Mixers with frats are the most fun since they’ll usually have themes. For example, “heaven and hell” or “mock marriage”. They involve activities at different depots. Like at a Vegas Wedding themed contest, one of my friends went ordained on the internet and married me off to some senior. So I might have accidentally gotten married last year … IDK, though. DM me if you’re aware of how binding internet rectors are.
All-campuses, defendants where freshmen are invited, are typically jolly carrying. The room goes bundled with a knot of lame-o frosh. It’s seldom recreation if the topics are good. Eurotrash, the first big party of the year, is always humorou. Specially laughing at all the mustaches the sons ripen for the theme.
Self-ops( ie: rooms on the rows that have private cooks but are not to be associated with Greek life) will too dish themed dinners that are hugely competitive to get into. French residence does crepe nighttime( crepes+ wine ), Casa Italiana does pizzeria( pizza+ wine ), and now Narnia does Bagelmania( bagels … and maybe wine ). There’s a super competitive gamble that lasts for five minutes to get a counter, and everyone junkies out about it.
Tequila Lounge used to the one off-campus sit to disappear, but that shut last year( RIP) though supposedly it’s re-opening. I miss more 12 dollar tequila shots PLZ God!
If none of the above is happening, daughters are forced to lie around their s’rats and complain that “Stanford is becoming sooooo lameeeeee !! ” I don’t know what everyone was expecting when they applied to a school literally announced “Nerd Nation.”
Food
Dining foyers are jolly passable, though Wilbur brunch is fine( they have an omelet and smoothie terminal, so it could be worse ).
Housed sororities( Pi Phi, Tridelt, and Theta) all have pretty good meat since they have private chefs, as do a lot of self-ops on the row like French House or Casa Italiana.
Palo Alto also has some great restaurants( have to go to feed all the tech billionaires ), from Nobu to Sweetgreen.
Weird Stanford Traditions
In case you haven’t caught on more, Stanford is fitted with some strange people. So apparently the school has some strange traditions.
FMOTQ( aka Full Moon on the Quad, aka Full Mono on the Quad ): a light where everyone assembles on the quad on a full moon and may wish to kiss as numerous beings as is practicable. Conspiracy theory is that Stanford wants to ensure everyone graduates from college with a first kiss under their region. A blaze of a lot of the students arrive straight-out from their mother’s wombs.
Guys walk around with bingo graphs( hook up with a 2400 SAT score, hook up with an Olympian, etc .) because men are stupid. It’s sort of like a real-life kissing booth minus the duty so it doesn’t feel like school-sanctioned vice. Stanford( in their everlasting objective to shape concepts less amusing) tries to discourage beings from coming if they have mono. They likewise hand out Listerine to try to prevent the spread of germs. Since one girlfriend contributed 50 chaps mono freshman time, guess you can’t genuinely blamed them.
Naked defendants at Synergy: Synergy is a co-op and one of the most alternative ones. It’s literally nudist( IDK how they get away with this) and they apparently host naked parties. K.
Fountain Hopping: Jumping in the chlorinated( because ew, mildew !!) fountains that are sprayed across campus is a freshman tradition. I desire wearing a bikini in the middle of February when it’s snowing back home. It reminds me why I enjoy California.
Bay to Breakers: Everyone at Stanford wakes up at 4am, makes shots, garbs in rallying, and fees a 15 k scoot in San Francisco. And by lope, I make go a mile before bailing for brunch because the combination of zero hour of sleep( there’s ever a concert the light before) and boozing at an inhumane hour means you feel like you’ve been run over by a truck repeatedly.
Stanford Marriage Pact: This was an Econ project that started viral by claiming they used a Noble Prize-winning algorithm to equal you to future developments spouse should you both still be single by 30( given the lifestyles of many teenagers at this institution, v likely ). Probably the most Stanford thing I’ve ever heard of. Arisen in a lot of interesting DMing, and unhappily did NOT include a search or height liking area. So a la Sierra Burgess is a Loser, some really strange coincides were made.
Before You Graduate, You Should…
When my aforementioned really hot CS TA asked us this in segment on the first day of class, he received a highly blank look in return. Before you graduate? Shouldn’t you exactly, like, be investigating and is fully prepared to modulation from Palo Alto to Mountain View to work at Facebook/ Google?
However, this is my best shot TAGEND
Find these mysterious steam passageways everyone talks about and explore them( can’t give you more info than that because, ya know, they’re mysterious) Clambers the roof of MemChu without croaking( JK, perhaps don’t do that) Enroll in( CS) 106 A( sorry, I’ve been indoctrinated)
The post Betches Love This College: Stanford University Betches appeared first on Top Most Viral.
