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5 Flat-Out Wrong Things About Religions You Probably Believe

We’re not sure if you’ve observed, but people get pretty uptight about religious beliefs. As a comedy website, that is beyond our purview. All we were able to do is point out some of the ludicrous happenings some tribes conceive they are aware of other religions. And we’re not just talking about the stuff your bigoted uncle all-caps on Facebook: There are some “facts” about religion that even exclusively normal and balanced people who do not guess chemtrails are made by Jewish dragons think are true.

5

The Sikhs Don’t Have Anything To Do With Islam

Take a quick look at this man.

CNN
“I get ‘randomly selected’ quite a bit.”

This is Waris Ahluwalia, who was not allowed on an airplane to New York because he refused to remove his turban. Now, while that sounds like a pretty stupid reason to disavow a Muslim on a flight, it becomes even stupider when you realize he isn’t a Muslim, but a Sikh.

They kind of look like they could be Muslims or whatever, which regrettably is all the excuse the rest of the world requires: In the first month after 9/11, there were more than 300 documented cases of violence against Sikhs. An utterly unprovoked shooting rampage at a Sikh temple in 2012 left six people dead, and was in all likelihood conducted in accordance with anti-Muslim sentiment. In Fresno, a few cases weeks after the San Bernardino attack, Sikh Amrik Singh Bal was beaten and hit with a truck. One completely innocent Canadian Sikh was blamed for three separate terrorist attacks, when a Photoshopped photo of him led viral after the Paris murders TAGEND

via VICE
So only a heads up when you see this inevitability pop up next time . typeface>

60 percent of Americans admit that they know nothing at all about the Sikh religion, which just so happens to be the fifth biggest in the world . The Sikh are generally considered some strange outgrowth of Islam( or Hindu religion, seeing as the overwhelming majority of Sikhs are from India ), when they’re considered at all.

But the Sikh are their own happening entirely: Guru Nanak, the founder of the belief, was born Hindu, but made his own religious belief structure in the late 1490 s, after reportedly drowning in a creek and reappearing 3 days later. Nanak’s brand-new maxims involved some pretty wild and crazy things, such as equality between sexes, and an overall idea that the caste structure is completely ridiculous. Guru Nanak foresaw the Sikh as a proud group of saint-soldier forms, meaning that right away, they were assigned the Paladin class while the rest of the world’s religions were stuck with monks and clerics.

In 1699, the tenth Guru of the Sikh, Gobind Singh, refined the Sikh look by introducing the religion’s physical symbols, the 5 K’s. A Sikh wears these five symbols at all days to show off the positive aspects of their religion: They never cut their fuzz to typify holiness and persuasivenes. They always carry a wooden combing for the cleanliness of subconsciou and torso( and for, you know, the hair ), a steel bangle to show restraint, a badass ceremonial blade to epitomize their status as spiritual warriors, and a special cotton underwear for modesty( and to attain opposing easier. Yes. They have fightin’ underwear ).

The turban was the Guru’s way of thumbing his nose at the gentry( “whos” traditionally the only ones allowed to wear it ), and because it happened to be part of the military uniform at the time, it was a terrific style to keep the long hair in check. It’s considered the most visible epitomize of the belief, and a fully anointed( Amrithdhari) Sikh can never discover their brain in public, which, incidentally, explains why Ahluwalia could not remove his headwear in the first place.

4

Pacifist Buddhists Can And Will Kick Your Ass

Buddhist monks are all age-old pacifists, so at peace with themselves and the world that they won’t even sit on a blade of grass if they think it’ll hurt the grass’ affections. But the idea of Buddhists as a bunch of non-violent non-offenders is a tad wrong: there is a extremely distinct difference between non-violence and total pacifism, and the Buddha’s doctrines don’t truly bother with the latter. The first of the Buddhist teachings is “Avoid killing, or injuring any living thing, ” the imperative word being “avoid.” Whether there were Buddhists who embrace pacifism, the notion of complete non-violence is a dreamy projection by Westerners. Buddhism doesn’t give lashing out in exasperation, and necessitates depleting all options for discussion before doing so, but if they belief no other options are available, a Buddhist can and perfectly will kick your ass.

20th century Asian record is rife with a few examples of precisely that: Buddhists construing their religious texts for engagement purposes, more or less as liberally as any other major religion. Bono saw you continuously well informed the Chinese-Tibet conflict that’s been going on since 1950, but you may not realize that the Tibetan army that attempted to fight the Chinese was actually created by the 13 th Dalai Lama himself, in 1913. Although the current Lama takes a Gandhi-esque approach, his predecessor was pushing to get Tibet a modern armed. When Japan infested parts of China on the eve of WWII, Japanese Buddhists were there because it was necessary to implement the correct version of their beliefs in Asia. Various groups of Sri Lankan Buddhists have been trying to remove those of other religions from their country for decades, going so far as to assassinate the prime minister in 1959, for failing to ensure their rights. In recent years, Thailand has knowledge a wave of anti-Muslim sentimentality and outright savagery, fanned on by … Buddhist monks.

Everybody is also possible jolt. Even in a colorful robe.

3

You Can Be Interred In A Jewish Cemetery Even If You Have Tattoos

Do you have a tattoo? Sorry, God hates you. At least, that’s what the Torah announces in Leviticus 19:28 TAGEND

You shall not making such a slasheds in your organization for the dead nor making such a tattoo differentiates on yourselves: I am the LORD .

Did anybody else spoke that in a Macho Man Randy Savage voice? No, that’s our unique profanity? Okay.

But you’re getting a seat in blaze with us, thanks to that Sonic The Hedgehog tattoo on your ass. Get tattoos is such a big deal that you can’t even be buried in a Jewish cemetery if you have one. Well, on paper, at least: no Jewish graveyard actually has such a policy in place, to the point where the spokesman for the Jewish Funeral Directors Of America has dismissed the idea as a “load of rubbish.” When “youre asking” scholars about it, they’ll are saying that Judaism is not in the habit of leaving dead torsoes exactly lying around because person “was so totally a Pisces” that they needed a cute little fish on their ankle.

Tattoos themselves are a hotly rivalry problem within Judaism: While they’re technically forbidden by Jewish constitution, there are no actual repercussions for having one, unless the tattoo is actively idolatrous. Some Jews have started fighting the tattoo taboo, but no one truly claimed that a tattoo deter you away from your designated burial spot.

As for that passage from Leviticus: It’s true-life that God specifically calls out tattoos in it. Nonetheless, you’ll notice that it reads precisely jack shit about burial ground injunctions, and as Biblical scholar Nili S. Fox points out, situation is everything. The Bible is actually rife with positive mentions of tattoos. The Leviticus passage is literally the only negative one, which is probably because Leviticus be crazy, y’all .

2

Mormons Can Altogether Drink Caffeine

On the index of odd situations Mormons accept, one of the strangest is the ban on caffeine, which makes their eternal pep all the more infuriating. See how that feels: No coffee , no soda , no energy guzzles followed by three fistfuls of NoDoz just to make it to lunch. It’s beyond belief … and it should be, because Mormons are entirely allowed to booze caffeine.

There’s a section of the Mormon Doctrine and Covenants known as the Words Of Wisdom. These texts serve as a kind of Mormon health and wellness template, laying out what they should chew or guzzle. If you take a look at that text, there’s no mention of caffeine anywhere. Instead, Mormons are inhibited from imbibing “hot potions, ” which is usually considered to mean coffee and tea, but flatly not caffeinated in general. Other people insured them turn down coffee, and attained that leap. The hypothesi of Mormons having to avoid soda became so widespread that, in 2012, the Church Of The Latter Day Saints actually put out an official announcement to clarify their policy. Which was basically: “Hey, they’re all right by us, but try not to beverage, like, 17 bottles of Pepsi a day.”

If merely because caffeine capsules are so much more convenient.

1

Everything In The Book Of Revelations Probably Already Happened Thousands Of Years Ago

You know the Book Of Revelations from the Bible, and every fourth Nicolas Cage movie. The seven seals are opened, loosing the four horsemen; a seven-headed beast rises from the sea, and a final battle embarks on their areas of Armageddon. Religious nuts consider it our future, but that’s perhaps because they don’t realise it was actually in the past.

The Book Of Revelations is also known as the Discovery To John, who most people don’t recognise is not the same person that wrote the Book Of John, from the Gospels. In information, most Biblical students suppose the Book Of Revelations was written at some extent after the year 70 A.D ., which actually makes a ton of sense: Hear, around 70 A.D ., the Romans sacked the shit out of Jerusalem, driving out the Jews and destroying their tabernacles. From the Jewish point of view, you could nearly call these events … apocalyptic .

Yep, experts are answering that the Book Of Revelations was likely religious crusade propaganda, writes to rally the Jewish people for the purposes of the comforting belief that God was going to come back and lay the smacking down on those Romans. Scholars have found abundance of sign to support the opinion that the Book Of Revelations actually describes an incident from the writer’s lifetime, instead of some frightening ecclesiastical future crusade. The seven-headed demon drawn attention to Rome and its famous seven hills. The recognize of the animal, 666, is thought to be a numerological including references to Emperor Nero, who had a storied record of subjugating early Christians. Why, you could virtually say the man was anti-Christ . The fields of Armageddon are likely to be referring to al-Megiddo, a famed battlefield of the time that had already been the site of various conflicts with Pagan legions. In all probability, John wasn’t prophesying some horrid future event in the Book Of Revelations: He was angrily blogging about “the worlds” he was living in, flogging everything there is up with fantastical drama and elaborate slurs, like a slightly less influential Breitbart.com.

James is on Twitter, and currently being tried his hands at blogging . i>

Now that you don’t need to fear for your afterlife, instead of slapping on temporary tattoos, you can get a real tattoo machine for the low, low price of $40 and clumsily decorate your skin with a mistake forever!

For more behaviors we’re altogether clueless about beliefs, check out 5 Insane Facts That Will Change How You Consider Christianity and 5 Myths You Probably Belief About Major Religions . b > i>

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