One of the worst things about being a teenager is, I can't drive. Well I can drive into walls pretty well, and I know I can reverse but sadly the government doesn't agree that I should be allowed on the road.. This means I have to travel everywhere by bus.
I love getting the bus. I'm weird, aren't I? But there are so many fascinating things that you can learn if you just listen! For example, I overheard this lady's phone conversation the other day to her friend about how 'uncle John was unhappy with the colour of his hair shade' I thought hmm how weird why would that bother him? The poor guy had mixed hair dyes and now he was as blondeyginger as the teletubbies sun!
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Some people have such big gobs that you can't help but overhear their conversations. You mustn't think that I'm a nosey gobshite who earwigs on everyone! Because.. I don't... Sometimes... Other times I've seen some of the most fabulous things possible!
The other day I was sitting on an almost empty bus and this lovely little old lady gets on. She smiles at me with this 'caring nan' smile and she plonks herself down; right. infont. of. me. Okay that's cool it's a free country ain't it?!
So here i am, sitting minding my own business, and then I look down. She's whacked out her kindle and is reading.. Are you ready for this... SEXUAL EROTICA. IN PUBLIC. ON A BUS. I am not going to repeat what I saw that day. I would never torture you with such vulgarity! She is someone's nan!!!! That's a tad weird!!
Riding the bus is not all sunshine and rainbows, unless someone extremely good looking sits next to you. Then it becomes heaven. However, forgetting the heavenly smelling, drool worthy, sex god/goddess that is your bus buddy. Ever had a time when that person gets on. That person everyone hopes doesn't sit next to them. That person who has pissed themselves. That person who has eaten a raw onion before getting on the bus. I'm sorry, but my bag needs a whole seat pal, sit with the sexual granny infront of me!
As you can tell, I'm on a very, very boring bus journey. Please someone save me. 'That person' has just got on. Eek.
