I got a job recently working security on very slow shifts. You basically get paid hourly to stay awake. Since starting there roughly a month to two months ago, there have been several people fired for falling asleep on the job. So what better way to stay awake than bring my LTD Deluxe electric guitar and Roland Micro Cube amp to work?
Now instead of dozing off as I wait for the first truck in an hour and a half to show up, I stay busy and productive by shredding generic, funky penatonic blues licks over backing tracks I find on Youtube. I can only surmise the other security guards who fell asleep on the job weren't musicians - or they played Ukulele or some shit. Hard to keep yourself up with an instrument you could cave in just by resting your balls on it.
Now instead of dozing off as I wait for the first truck in an hour and a half to show up, I stay busy and productive by shredding generic, funky penatonic blues licks over backing tracks I find on Youtube. I can only surmise the other security guards who fell asleep on the job weren't musicians - or they played Ukulele or some shit. Hard to keep yourself up with an instrument you could cave in just by resting your balls on it.
So I present to you readers the first two videos in the Security Shred Sessions videos.
Security Shred Session #1
Security Shred Session #2
I also had another series I was going to work on called "Stoned Shred Sessions," but I only ended up recording a single video and got too high to hit record for the rest of the jams that day. I'll get back around to it some day.
Stoned Shred Session #1
If you find yourself digging the shredding in these videos, you might want to check out my four Albums. They're available on Bandcamp, iTunes, Spotify, Amazon, Pandora, and a shit ton of other useless digital distributors. The jams above are funky, and more along the lines of my band Neighborhood Formula (currently on hiatus). But the jams on my albums are much more cinematic, a strange blend of Heavy Metal, progressive rock, synthwave, and film-scores. I've embedded some of my albums below, give them a listen ya jabronis.
That's four face melting heavy metal synthwave albums to get you started. If you check out the rest of the Scythe discography you'll find a ton more tracks as well. It is my hope that my music helps at least one person succeed in outrunning a police officer. Another good reason to buy is for post-apocalyptic inspiration. There's a good chance our next president might spark a third world war, considering it's gonna boil down to a loud mouthed cartoon character with a dead raccoon wig and a lady that's such a sociopath she has to go more over-the-top with her facial expressions than hipster improv comedy douche bags participating in a flash mob.
Yep, synthwave metal sure will be useful in the post-apocalypse.
Yep, synthwave metal sure will be useful in the post-apocalypse.
This post first appeared on Sweet Funky Freedom (Conspiracy Humor Blog), please read the originial post: here
