I bet if Jesus existed (at least in the way religion portrays him) he'd be pissed off sitting in heaven, watching the meaning of Christmas go from being about his birth to a pudgy dude in a strange outfit traveling the globe, sneaking into millions of homes, and delivering presents to children.
It's like having a Celebrity at your Wedding. Like these jackasses. According to Yahoo! news (who make sure I'm up-to-date on the most pointless crap every time I go check and see how little albums I've sold), the bride invited Taylor Swift to her wedding. If I was a celebrity, I sure as fuck wouldn't want to go to a complete strangers wedding. What a selfish thing to do.
Good going, shithead, now your wedding day is all about this terrible celebrity. The day you and your husband tied the knot is now overshadowed by Taylor Swift's appearance, attention whoring for cameras and strutting her skanky ass around the wedding.
Where does she get off going to a wedding, anyway? She runs through 3 dozen dick in a years time. Every album she has just consists of songs bitching about each of her ex's from that given time period. At this point, either go celibate or go lesbian. And film it. Better yet, come date me, Tay Tay. Then we can break up, and both write our own breakup songs. Guarantee mine will have more substance. It'll be the debut of my comedy music.
Just look at this limp wristed husband.
Brah, you're really gonna pose for a photo like that at your wedding? With that kind of behavior, one can only imagine how much side-cock she takes whenever you're on leave, serving your country. It's safe to assume she's got a whole buffet of cock waiting for her when you head overseas. She is a Taylor Swift fan, after all.
This post first appeared on Sweet Funky Freedom (Conspiracy Humor Blog), please read the originial post: here
