UPDATE (8/10/2016): Head to the end of the page for links to the video!
As of late, people are really whoring out their dignity extra hard to get Internet famous. First there was that crazy fat bitch who ate her own used tampon. Then some kid ate his own poop right out of the toilet. And then some girl posted a video of her getting fucked by her dog, then sucking it's dick.
As of late, people are really whoring out their dignity extra hard to get Internet famous. First there was that crazy fat bitch who ate her own used tampon. Then some kid ate his own poop right out of the toilet. And then some girl posted a video of her getting fucked by her dog, then sucking it's dick.
Wait, what? Cue the creepy music.
I'm not joking. And this stuff is actually so widespread that I'm aware of each video from multiple sources. I haven't seen the videos of tampon girl, shit boy, and the amazing dog fucker. But I know they're out there, just waiting to be fapped to, because I've seen them mentioned in various places.
So wanna see what the chick that fucked her dog looked like?
Tattoos and dreadlocks, with a dash of trashiness? Son of a bitch. Well it appears I'd actually take Fido's sloppy seconds.
Seriously, Alyssa Rosales, if you're reading this, we should smash. I'm seriously. I can totally look beyond your sordid past and soiled reputation. You can put that all behind you, and come stay a few weeks with me in my room (at my parents house). We'll watch Netflix, smoke some pot, play Super Nintendo, and bang every two hours like junkyard do....er, junkyard rabbits.
I know, I know, everyone must think I'm fucking crazy for still wanting to smash this chick. But think about this - if she's willing to put a dog cock in her mouth, just image what she's willing to do with a human! Wake and back with a little ATM, anyone? I bet this bitch just loves it ruff.
I wonder if she has a whole posse of trashy sluts that flick their bean with lobster claws and get off by riding corpses at morgues.....one can only hope, right?
So Alyssa Rosales, where you from, baby girl? Where you at? You don't need to resort to beastiality yet, you crazy slut. You're in your fucking prime. I guarantee you have dozens of numbers on your cell phone you could call or text and get immediate sex from. And I bet the majority of those cock sources on your phone will still oblige your carnal desires, despite your little viral video with Spot. In fact....
I wonder if she has a whole posse of trashy sluts that flick their bean with lobster claws and get off by riding corpses at morgues.....one can only hope, right?
So Alyssa Rosales, where you from, baby girl? Where you at? You don't need to resort to beastiality yet, you crazy slut. You're in your fucking prime. I guarantee you have dozens of numbers on your cell phone you could call or text and get immediate sex from. And I bet the majority of those cock sources on your phone will still oblige your carnal desires, despite your little viral video with Spot. In fact....
How 'bout you let me clap dem cheeks? I'll even go halves on your plane ticket. We can listen to "Bark at the Moon" by Ozzy Osbourne while we plow.
Or perhaps we can listen to a little "Mad Dog" by Deep Purple while we smash, instead.
You know what? I'll just make a "Doggy Style" mix. Because I can't possibly have dirty, deranged, unprotected sex with Alyssa Rosales without doing it to the Dog the Bounty Hunter theme song.
Can't forget about "Animals" by Manowar.
Never-mind "Who Let The Dogs Out."
Or perhaps we can listen to a little "Mad Dog" by Deep Purple while we smash, instead.
You know what? I'll just make a "Doggy Style" mix. Because I can't possibly have dirty, deranged, unprotected sex with Alyssa Rosales without doing it to the Dog the Bounty Hunter theme song.
Can't forget about "Animals" by Manowar.
Never-mind "Who Let The Dogs Out."
Fuuuuuck............it's so wrong.........but still.....I could definitely move past her weird fetish and give this bitch a bone. Bitches love bones.
Although, if this crazy slut cheated on me with the neighbors Great Dane, it would totally ruin my self-esteem. And if she ever even so much as hinted at a threesome with me, her and my pitbull Lord Ritchie Shwilligan Garcia, it'd just feel all weird and borderline-incestual.
Maybe this chick is a star stalker, and gave Snoop Lion every reason to change his name. It's safe to assume this bitch is definitely "Team Jake."
God dammit, I'd totally still fuck the sleaze right off this bitch. I don't mean to continually drive this point home, or to continually hound this poor girl, but seriously...I would love to pound the shit out of her. I'd fuck her so ruff, I'd have this bitch barking like a hyena. (What, did you think I was gonna say bark like a tree?)
I hope she doesn't have STDs, like rabies. Gotta keep this bitch on a leash, otherwise she might stray and have a litter with some other dude...or his dog.
#FMLbecauseYOLO
UPDATE (8/10/2016): This article gets more hits than most of my other stuff, so I have no doubts what you viewers are all REALLY here for. You want to see Alyssa Rosales getting smashed out raw dog by her dog, don't you? DON'T YOU?! Fuck it, here's her videos you perverts. Download the PNG images to get the URLs so you can go directly to her uploaded videos.
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 1
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 2
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 3
If those don't work go to the:
VIDEO GATEWAY
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 1
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 2
ALYSSA ROSALES CODE 3
If those don't work go to the:
VIDEO GATEWAY
This post first appeared on Sweet Funky Freedom (Conspiracy Humor Blog), please read the originial post: here
