As I re-watch the Walking Dead on Netflix, I'm discovering a number of mistakes the show has made. Although I am a huge fan of the show and think it is quite consistent, especially when watching the episodes back-to-back, I thought I should still make a list of the most blatant offenses the show has made.
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1. Amy should have bitten Andrea.
Ok, cue the badass music. /\
If you're a reader of the comic books, it's safe to assume you're a fan of Andrea. She quickly turns into one of the most bad-ass characters in the story, becoming an expert sharp-shooter in the wake of her sisters death. Andrea in the comic literally saves the entire group on numerous occasions with these sniper skills. In the comic, you get the impression Andrea is just a young, good-hearted woman fresh out of college thrown into the horrible situation of a zombie apocalypse/dead sister/creepy relationship with someone old enough to be her grandfather.
How all that from the comic translated into "The smuggest, cuntiest bitch in TV history" on the TV show is beyond me. Think about it - do you remember how they introduced Andrea in the show?
That's right; in the second episode of the show, Andrea is introduced by immediately pulling a gun on the main protagonist of the show, with the safety on no less, while spewing a bench of exaggerated, drama-queen bullshit. Way to have compassion in the zombie apocalypse, you ragging bitch. I'm sure it was Ricks intention to lead the zombies right to your group he had absolutely no awareness of whatsoever. He didn't just wake up from a coma and head to the city to find his family, or anything. Stupid bitch.
And that's how the character stays for the rest of the season....and the season after that....and the third season, too....she's always such a stupid fucking bitch. There is no uphill character progression with her, whatsoever - the character remains the biggest buzz-kill on the show for the duration of the series, getting progressively more annoying as the show goes on. Andrea is an even bigger buzz-kill than 15 Shane's, 20 Merle's or a thousand walkers.
I think everyone was so busy complaining about Lori they didn't notice how horrible Andrea is. In fact, I'd even go as far as to say that just a fraction of Andreas cuntiness completely eclipsed everything annoying Lori ever did - her complete disregard of her son, the fact she banged her husbands best friend, her irrational joyride into town in Season 2 that resulted in a totaled car, her giving birth to Shane's child and then immediately dying, leaving the responsibility to the rest of the group. Lori was a conflicted character and made some rash decisions, but I could never agree with peoples hatred of her. (Which is why I find it so funny she is trolling the viewers from beyond the grave, literally haunting Rick and the fans of the show by appearing in his hallucinations after dying.) Incidentally, Loris three best moments on the show were when she put cunty Andrea in her place. I'd say Lori is as cool as Daryl compared to Andrea.
So the first big blunder I noticed with the Walking Dead was the casting / portrayal of Andrea. From the very first scene she was unlikable. And I think Amy should have ripped ripped a chunk out of her throat in Episode 4, saving us all the painful task of sitting through her exaggerated facial expressions and head swiveling sassiness.
Remember the whole boat scene with her and her sister while they were fishing? That was fucking annoying. It's the only part I've fast-forwarded through since re-watching the series. "Remember what dad said, no crying in the boat." Oh, shut the fuck up Botox Barbie, you're a terrible actress and ruining one of the best characters from the comic with your exaggerated portrayal. You're like...20 years too old for the role.
Then they get back from fishing carrying a bunch of fish like hot shit. "Don't thank us, thank Dale. They were HIS fishing roads. Dale, when's the last time you cleaned those things? They were awful!" (Exaggerated, condescending head swivel.)
I literally shudder thinking about her terrible, terrible acting. This actress even looks like a girl I used to have a major boner for that rejected me and turned out to be a real bitch. So on top of the layers of hatred I have for Andrea....layer one of said hatred being her terrible acting, layer two being botox, layer three being for ruining the character from the comics, layers four through eighteen being more botox....now she reminds me of some bitch that ripped out my heart...and put it through a bloody blender. But back to Andrea...
Later, after catching all the fish for the group and deflecting a compliment by insulting Dale like the smug cock-sucker she is, Andrea has to deal with her (much more attractive) sisters untimely and tragic death. And how does the actress portray this?
Well the video was removed from Youtube. But you all know the scene I'm referring to. The one where Andrea is all like...
"Oh...oh...oh....oh....oh....oh....oh...oh....oh...oh..."
C'mon, really? No one else thinks this lady can't act for shit? That's literally painful to watch - and not in a "Oh man, I feel so bad for her bro" kind of way, either. It's just fake, and doesn't feel authentic in the slightest.
So then Andrea decides to creepily hover over her sisters dead body, as if spending 5 hours looking deep into the wound on her dead sisters neck is a reasonable way to come to terms with her death. When people attempt to come console her, she either ignores them completely or draws a gun on Rick AGAIN for no reason other than to be an over-dramatic bitch.
So then Andrea decides to creepily hover over her sisters dead body, as if spending 5 hours looking deep into the wound on her dead sisters neck is a reasonable way to come to terms with her death. When people attempt to come console her, she either ignores them completely or draws a gun on Rick AGAIN for no reason other than to be an over-dramatic bitch.
Damn, Rick. Maybe Merle isn't the person you should have chained to that pipe on the roof...
In cuntclusion, this is why I think the first major mistake of "AMC's The Walking Dead" was not having Amy bite Andrea. Or Rick tie her to the pipe on the roof instead of Merle, whatever. Let's move on to #2.
2. When Dr. Jenner offered the group the choice of suicide, Andrea should have stayed instead of Jacqui.
The first token black girl of the series had a name....and I had to look it up to verify it was, in fact, Jacqui. But when she commit suicide with Dr Jenner in the season finale of the Walking Dead's first season, Andrea should have been there with her. Hell, the actress portraying Jacqui showed more charisma and acting chops in 5 seconds than Laurie Holden has shown the entire series.
Merle has a gun pointed at the group on a roof and says he's now in charge, and asks who else agrees. "Show of hands, who agrees? Show of hands." Without missing a beat, Jacqui raises her middle finger. That single act was more endearing than everything Andrea has done on the show combined.
If they wanted a strong, sassy character they might as well have kept Jacqui instead of Andrea, then killed her off when Michonne appeared to appease the behind-the-scenes "Racist Ratio Gods." On to #3!
3. In the Season 2 premiere when the group is trapped under cars on the lonely, deserted stretch of highway..... Andrea should have died.
Remember in the Season 2 premiere when the herd had the group pinned down? Andrea was in the RV learning how to assemble the handgun, then she notices a herd and high-tails it into the bathroom. (This was, of course, only after acting like a total bitch on her period again earlier in the episode, guilt-tripping Dale for saving her life like the smug, cunty drama queen she has been since her first appearance on the show. Way to start the season strong, Andrea.) She catches a Walkers attention, but somehow manages to play it cool and the thing leaves. But then she drops the clip of the gun and catches its attention a second time.
Dale, who was likely fapping as he watched her in the bathroom, saves her life AGAIN, tossing her a screwdriver through a window on the roof of the RV. But that doesn't stop Andrea from shooting Dale the stink-eye as if him saving her life is such a burden to shoulder. How about some gratitude you bitch?
Dale, who was likely fapping as he watched her in the bathroom, saves her life AGAIN, tossing her a screwdriver through a window on the roof of the RV. But that doesn't stop Andrea from shooting Dale the stink-eye as if him saving her life is such a burden to shoulder. How about some gratitude you bitch?
Frankly, I don't think knocking the screen out of the window was worth saving Andreas life. Now you gotta deal with mosquitoes AND this constantly nagging cunt? The one you aren't even banging? Poor decision, Dale. So somehow Mandrea manages to dispose of her would-be murderer....
....but she can't even do this like a normal character, she has to freak out and start blubbering like a fucking jackass. Every other character seems to be able to kill zombies without acting like a fucking irrational drama-queen, Andrea, so shut the fuck up before you attract more zo
This post first appeared on Sweet Funky Freedom (Conspiracy Humor Blog), please read the originial post: here
