Nowadays, if I'm taking a dump, I'm probably rapid swiping Tinder to accrue a harem of Matches that I'll never have time to Message since I work 6 days a week mixed with matches I'll never intend on messaging because they're too fat to arouse me sexually (unless it was last call at a bar and I threw her...and...myself a hail Mary pity fuck out of shameful desperation). But I have much more fun answering the stupid questions on OkCupid as brutally honest as possible. I like to think it gives me an excuse why no one messages back, although in reality the true reasons are A) These sites are retarded and B) They get swamped by messages and dick pics by the hour. And maybe, just maybe C) I'm an ugly motherfucker.
This post first appeared on Sweet Funky Freedom (Conspiracy Humor Blog), please read the originial post: here
