"True" Friendship None of that Sissy Crap

Are you tired of those sissy "friendship" poems that always sound
good, but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a
series of promises that actually speak of true friendship. You will
see no cutesy little smiley faces on this card- just the stone cold
truth of our great friendship.

1. When you are sad -- I will help you get drunk and plot revenge
against the sorry bastard who made you sad.

2. When you are blue -- I will try to dislodge whatever is choking you.

3. When you smile -- I will know you finally got laid.

4. When you are scared -- I will rag on you about it every chance I get.

5. When you are worried -- I will tell you horrible stories about how
much worse it could be until you quit whining.

6. When you are confused -- I will use little words.

7. When you are sick -- Stay the hell away from me until you are well
again. I don't want whatever you have.

8. When you fall -- I will point and laugh at your clumsy ass.

9. This is my oath..... I pledge it to the end. "Why?" you may ask;
"because you are my friend".

Send this to 10 of your closest friends, then get depressed because
you can only think of 4.