By the Wanz

(Well, at least the cab drivers of Tacoma, Seattle, San Francisco, Oakland, and the rest of the Bay Area.)

            Hey there, it’s me again, Wanz, your loyal passenger. I know sometimes I turn down your services for the bus or walking or my friend, but I do want to let you know that I appreciate you, whole-heartedly.

            That being said, I wanted to touch base with you to give you some constructive feedback. Yes, yes, you saw right through me, I’m giving a positive-feedback-positive sandwich… I learned it during supervisor training, and honestly, it’s fucking effective. Being the vocal, web-based person that I am, I wanted to write you a letter that just broke down some wants and desires I have for you. Now I know you have some feedback of your own (but unfortunately, yall don’t connect and have a semi-successful blog that criticizes your passengers… or do you? Do you? Am I in it? Can I be in it? J) but today, it’s about my feedback for you as my driver… consider this my “Top 5 Requests of my Cab Drivers.”

            Firstly, I’m going to provide this brief critique. Honestly, if I am making a very strange request (locationally speaking) I get it if you don’t know where you’re going. However, when I ask you for a pretty basic location… one would hope that you know where you’re going. If not, I understand, but it’s always a little unnerving when I find myself having to instruct you, my driver. I mean… that’s what GPSes were invented for… directions… you even getting out a map wouldn’t be super reassuring, but it’s more reassuring than you going “Uh, ok…” starting to drive and then me having to point out “you are definitely going the wrong direction.”

            Second of all, I am going to admit, this is primarily me being an asshole, but some days I’m in a chatty mood, some days I’m not. Unfortunately, it’s up to you to gauge that. Some days, I’m ok with you asking away about my backstory, and some days I’m chill with listening to your rambly life story, but other days, my general body-language should be screaming “No! NO! I don’t want to talk!! NAY!!!!” and on those days, you just need to accept me for being who I am, and let me be. You feel me?

            Third of all, if you’ve read my other post about taxicabs, you already know that I’m not a fan of drunk taxicab drivers. Nothing against you personally… well, actually yes, a lot against you personally. If I had wanted to get into a car being driven by a drunk driver, I would’ve asked my friend Pat to drive me. He’s been drinking all day. And guess what, I’m in this cab right now because I’m relying on you to be my sober driver. Too much to ask? If it is, then… well, I’m just not getting your ride. Sorry.

            Fourth of all, and this may be making me the asshole again, a title that I’m willing to both accept and embrace, but let me know if you don’t take credit cards. I come from San Francisco, and for the most part, I’m usually carrying cash in anticipation of cabbing home, however, if you have the little VISA/Mastercard logo and several blocks into the ride you’re like “Oooooh….. about plastic……. Yeeeeaaaah….. [insert awkwarder pause]….. I don’t take that.” Then I call bullshit on you good Sir/Madame. (Though now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve only had male drivers… what’s that about guys and gals? Societal norms need to change! Starting on a cabby-level!) Anyways, don’t make me a bigger asshole than I already am, and just be upfront about it so I don’t eject myself from your car, screaming “Eeeeaaaaggggglllleeeee” and then having to tuck and roll. (Eagle was a Scrubs reference… I officially will tip my fro to anyone who go that.)

            Lastly, speed and directions… I pretty much need you to be breaking laws for me if I’m hailing you midday, because that means I’m late. (If it’s a latenight cabby moment, I’m just drunk and need to get home.) So, drive as fucking fast as you can without being pulled over or killing anyone. Being a witness to driveby murder isn’t really in my life itinerary. And directionally speaking, please just go the fastest route as possible. Nothing miffs me more than noticing that you’re taking a long route just to milk the money I’m already spending on you.

            Sincerely,

            Wanz of Life in Transit

P.S. Do you feel like I’ve misjudged you? Have you received other letters from other passengers? Do you have words to say? If so, you should let me know!! Prove it.

P.S.S. To prove it, you should share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJor on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittjor send us an email at [email protected] we may post your message / picture!!

P.P.S.S. BYE AGAIN!