"There's got to be some place I can go, earn a check, and forget the shape of your face."
-The Grisly Hand

...and so our story and Russ's journey begins.  A short 3 and a half hour journey to St. Louis would seem like nothing compared to his trip across half the country, but it would at least be a start.

Russ had friends in St. Louis, good friends, best friends.  It'd be nice to spend time with them before spending months apart from almost everyone he knew.  Perhaps he would look for work there in St. Louis, maybe a place to live for the next few months.  It made sense, Russ had to be in St. Louis in April for his friends wedding anyway... why not check some things out.

At this point you know though, Russ ends up in Los Angeles, so let's make this story short.

Russ had a feeling... Or at least a feeling that he would get a feeling when he arrived where he needed to be, and although the time spent with friends was great... Russ just wasn't feeling St. Louis, and neither was fate.  Fate had told him twice in a row to start his journey by heading South, and so it needed to be.

Back on the road another 3 and a half hour journey back to Kansas City, Russ would spend another couple of days there hanging out with friends and family before caving into fate.

Much like the trip earlier in the week, another 3 and a half hours heading South out of Kansas City landed him in Wichita, KS.  The next day another few hours would put him outside, the South side, of Oklahoma City.  After a wrong turn he headed West ending a days journey about an hour from the Oklahoma/Texas stateline.

Constantly checking his map, he would decide to head to Roswell, NM.  He felt drawn to it. Ah Roswell... would it be like he had seen it on the popular WB television series Roswell?  No, not at all.  Walmart, Applebees, McDonalds... Russ passed many corporately-run business before being in the heart of town, or what seemed like the heart of town.  So many empty businesses and buildings...and no aliens disguised as humans.  It was sad and this discouraged Russ, until he drove past the UFO Museum, excited until he found out they were closed, he'd have to come back in the morning.

For 5 dollars you can visit the Roswell, NM. UFO Museum.  5 dollars gets you into an old movie theater that now houses the museum... A museum thats filled with what almost seemed to be a 6 graders report on The Roswell Incident and UFOs... complete with posterboards with pictures of UFOs glued to them.  Nothing you couldnt just find online.

There was nothing for him here, so after an oil change and a load of laundry Russ headed towards Las Vegas, but not before a nights rest in Holbrook AZ.  One of the worst smelling places he'd ever been to.

You'd think that spending almost a week in Las Vegas would be expensive, and it can be if you're not careful.  You'd also think that a hotel for 21$ a night would be sketchy as fuck, but you'd be surprised.  This would be the nicest place Russ would stay in during his whole trip.  Thanks to Expedia dot cooooom.

If you're gambling in a casino you can drink for free otherwise a 3.50$ gin and tonic back home is going to cost you 8-13$ in Vegas.  Sometimes you learn these things the hard way... 3 drinks later wondering how your tab is almost thirty bucks.

Spending a few days in Vegas you're bound to make small talk with at least a few people.  All of these people will tell you times are hard in Vegas.

"Blah blah blah, what about LA, what about the good stuff?"

What turned into his last night in Vegas, Russ spent his evening watching NBC's Comedy Night Done Right and surfing the Internet.

A few clicks would take him to UCB theatre's website.  At that time the next night would be a comedy show starring Andrea Rosen... and Russ thought, she's attractive, she's funny... It's only a two hour drive to LA from here... Lets do it.  He could come back to Vegas if need be.

Well it's not two hours to LA... It's 4... and Andrea Rosen's show wasn't in LA, but New York.  God fucking dammit.

What a great way to start out his life in LA huh?  This is where our story really gets good.

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Still to come... Does "LA" stand for "Life's Awesome?"  Find out next time on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"