A week into being in LA, Russ spent his days looking for work and a place to live, and his nights watching shows on his laptop.  Being more of a night owl, Russ would take a short walk late at night usually picking a different direction every time.

One thing you'll notice about LA is that there are a lot of homeless people.  In fact, LA is apparently the homeless capital in the U.S.  One evening while walking back to the hotel a man, who at first glance appeared to be homeless, came up to Russ.

"Excuse me sir-"
"Oh..."

When the man saw he had Russ's attention, he approached him.  The smell of piss was heavy on the man, confirming Russ's suspicions of the man probably being homeless.  The man held a manila folder in his hand.

"I just wrote the script for the new Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie movie that's coming out this year..."

He showed Russ the manila folder.  Taped to one side was some printed out movie poster.  The picture just looked like images had been Photoshopped together.  Two people sitting in a Convertible waving towards the camera, and then a person standing behind the car with sunglasses who was way out of proportion to the car he was standing behind.  Behind them was a picture of the famous Hollywood Hills.

"...I'm out here trying to raise money for my organization, we're trying to build a building where-"
"Oh sorry man I don't have any cash."

Russ started to walk away.  This wouldn't be the first time this has happened, and it probably wouldn't be the last, but as Russ walked away he must have heard Russ's keys jingling in his pocket.

"Any change sir?"
"Nope just my keys.  Take care."

Russ didn't know what to think.  He had to give the homeless man props for his story... at least it was interesting.

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Russ was excited.  This afternoon he'd get to go to the taping of a pilot for the E! Network.  After contacting a friend Russ had made 3 years earlier, he'd find that his friend was helping write the pilot the show.  Russ received a priority ticket, he didn't have to wait outside in line, he got seated first... he felt good.  Things were going good.

Watching from home you don't really see what goes into filming a talk show, or a celebrity gossip show.  They seat you and there's probably at least 100 people there, but the audience is smaller than you'd think it was from what you might see on TV.  Before they start shooting they have someone come out and explain what's going on and how things will happen.  It's also their job to make the crowd... "rowdy" ...and at the end the "rowdiest" group of audience members would receive a gift.

 Here's what they expect from you...
-You must sit up straight at all times, and smile.
-During breaks when music is being played, clap to the beat during the whole song.
-Laugh as hard as you can, as much as you can.  If you don't get a joke, still laugh.  If you hear someone else laughing laugh.  If you're laughing and the person next to you isn't... nudge them and tell them to laugh.

A half hour show took around two hours to shoot.  Russ had never clapped, or fake laughed so much in his life.  It really felt like work after awhile.  They were constantly wanting to reshoot something, so he heard the same jokes over and over again. 

Since the show was just a pilot there's no guarantee that it'll actually get picked up and put on the network, but if it does... first row, and a little to the left... you might be able to see the back of Russ's head.

 "What about the prize for the rowdiest audience group?!?"

Oh right.  Guess who won that.  Everyone.  Guess what the prize was.  A piece of root beer flavored hard candy, and a free small McFlurry from McDonalds.  While passing out the "prizes" the man kept saying, "The candy tastes like root beer."  "The candy tastes like root beer."  "The candy tastes like root beer."  "The candy tastes like root beer."

"Hey man you're holding a fucking microphone.  You could take 2 seconds, make an announcement and inform us all at the same time that the pieces of root beer flavored candy you're passing out, do in fact, taste like root beer."

What a day.

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Coming up on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"
Russ finds a place to live, and finds out that no, LA doesn't stand for "Life's Awesome!"  Stay tuned.