After almost a week of staying at a hotel in LA, Russ decided that he needed to find a place to live TODAY.  Enough wasting his money.  So, desperate to find a place that day, instead of just emailing a reply to an ad on Craigslist, he started calling the phone numbers left in the ads.

"I have a Space for rent for $450 a month Utilities included (Gas Water, Electric) The space is private but not sound proof. It has a 4 drawer dresser and a single bed. It's $450 for "First" month and 450 "Last". 900 moves you in on, Feb 1st. Close to the 405 and 10 freeways. UCLA, food and shopping centers. I smoke Cigs outside and I "Smoke" indoors and prefer a roommate that does, as to not make waves.  Quick Call before it's gone."

"Quick Call before it's gone."

Russ called the number in the ad. After a short conversation with Jeff, Russ drove 45 minutes away from downtown LA to the place on Venice Blvd.  Jeff met him outside, and they walked in together.

After a quick tour of the apartment, and after seeing the Xbox 360, Russ thought to himself that this could really work out.  He could see himself living here for a couple months.

"So yea the place is available on the 6th."

Russ could of sworn the ad on Craigslist said the first of February, but maybe he just read it wrong.

"I'm kind of looking for a place to live right now... today."
"Oh well... the room might be ready by the 3rd or 4th."
"Um... I guess I can let you know if I don't find a place by then."
"Yea do that, if the room is free sooner I'll let you know."
"Ok.  Thanks."

Russ walked back to his car discouraged.  He pulled out his phone and checked the Craigslist ad. Yep it said February 1st.

"That fucker."

Russ received a text message.

"Oh hey man sorry I must of made a typo in the ad I meant to say the 6th and not the 1st."
"Ok."

Russ received another text.

"Hey have you tried using Couchsurf?  You could check out the website and find a place to crash for a couple days until the room opens up."
"Ok."

"You fucker."

*Note: I received a text from Jeff yesterday (2/7/11) ... "Hey Rex... This is Jeff with the space avaiable.  420 friendly.  Give me a call back and we can set up a time to come by n look at it.  Ttys."

Russ got back in his car and drove to the closest coffee shop with free internet.  Back on Craigslist, an ad caught his eye.

"Shared Livingroom with Direct TV and a Bed for $349.00 a Month (month to month basis)
Shared kitchen and bathroom.

1 Block From the Metro Train Station
1 Block from the Grocery Store
2 Blocks from Sprint Starbucks yogart land Subway and Panda Express

No Smoking No drinking Alcohal and No Cursing"


"350 a month with Direct TV?  That doesn't sound too bad."

Russ called the number.

"Hello who's this?"
"Hey my name's Russ... I was calling in response to your Craigslist ad.  Is your room still available?"
"It is, but lemme ask you this, Do you believe that Jesus is the son of God."
"Uhhh..."

How do you answer that question?  Russ isn't religious... he didn't know.  He wasn't going to just say "no" and ruin his chances at a cheap place.

"Um I don't really know how to answer that question..."
"Are you a Christian man?"
"I mean I was raised as a Christian, but I'm not really practicing right now...."
"Well a little bit about me... I'm a Christian man myself, I'm also an actor.  A few years ago Warner Brothers flew me out here to LA to be in a television show "The Parent'Hood" as a character "T.K." you can IMDB me, and I just like to know who exactly I'm surrounding myself with in my home."
"Um okay... so, now... does the 349$ include utilities... and do you have internet?"
"The 349$ does include utilities, you know I take care of that, and I also provide Direct TV at no extra cost, but we don't have internet here."
"Ok-"
"Now can I ask you why you're not a practicing Christian anymore?"

Really?  He was going to make Russ go into this?

"Um well, my mom died when I was 11, and after that happened I just stopped going to church, stopped practicing."
"Ok ok, and why'd you stop going to church?"

Really?

"Well you know, I went to a Catholic school, and everyday I was praying for her to get better, and nothing ever came of it, so I just gave up on it all.  As much as people can say, "Oh that's part of God's plan,"  I just didn't believe it."
"Ok ok, well you know that she was suffering, and so God decided to take her and put her in a better place with him, so she wouldn't be in pain anymore."

At this point Russ would of normally argued, that if that's the case God gave his mom cancer, and watched her suffer for several months, watched her family suffer, before killing her, but he wasn't going to argue with this guy... he needed a place to live.  He could play along.

"Ok."
"So you're not very religious."
"No not really, so that probably hurts my chances of getting the spot huh?"
"No, you know I just want to know who I'm living with."
"Ok... well I can provide references, if need be..."
"Oh that's not necessary."
"I also see that it's a month-to-month agreement, I can pay you in advance for two months."
"You know, why don't you come by, we can chat, you can check out the place and make a decision, go ahead and bring cash with you if you decide you want the place."

Russ got the address and headed back to downtown LA, another 45 minute trip.  Russ started to think about what he was about to do, give some guy he didn't know 700$ to live in an apartment for two months.  He stopped by an ATM and pulled 700$ from his savings.  He started to get nervous.

"Well here's hopping I don't get beaten and mugged."

Before he got to the apartment, Russ pulled out his phone and looked up his possible future room mate on IMDB.  There he was... 33 episodes of "The Parent'Hood" ...a couple episodes of "That's so Raven" ...surely he wouldn't get beaten and mugged by a Disney star.

Russ got to the apartment, and got buzzed in.

The place was big.  A few bedrooms, two bathrooms, living room, kitchen.  The place was warm too.  That's the first thing he noticed, but he didn't pay much attention to that.  After a quick tour, and a lengthy chat about religion and work... Russ thought to himself...

"Ok well this guy's super religious, maybe that's a good thing though... I can probably trust him.  This place is also in walking distance of everywhere I need to be, so that's a plus... it's also super fucking cheap... it's only two months... I'm sure I can deal with no drinking and cursing for that long.

Russ decided to call this place his home for the next two months.  He pulled out his wad of twenties, and paid the man.

Russ had just made a huge mistake.

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Next time on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"
Getting to know your room mates... The Actor, The Baby Mama, The Drug Dealer, The Drug Addict, The Prophet, and on weekends - The Four Kids.  This and more next time.