Today is The Actor's birthday, he is 32... Happy Birthday guy.

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Previously on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"

Russ isn't the biggest fan of Valentine's Day... not for the typical, "Oh I'm single, Valentine's Day sucks!" reason either... like a lot of people... which Russ was fine with.  If you don't like Valentine's Day, you don't like Valentine's Day.  He was also fine with the people who really get into Valentine's Day.  People like what they like, who cares.  Russ's mother passed away on Valentine's Day, so it's usually a tough day for him to get through.

He had tickets to an awesome comedy show, and decided he'd take himself out to a nice dinner. Russ had been watching what he ate, trying to count calories, and eat better, so he was eating a lot of turkey sandwiches, and... well that's like it.  So a meal out somewhere sounded nice.

After checking in, and getting his seating arrangement taken care of for the show, he walked around for awhile.  He had seen a Chipotle around, and that sounded pretty good, but he decided to look around a bit more when he saw it...

"Souplantation"  An all you can eat buffet type restaurant.  There tag line was "Soups.  Salads.  Bakery"

"Holy shit!  All you can eat baked goods?!?"

Russ didn't want to be the guy who ate at an all you can eat buffet by himself, especially not on Valentine's Day, but all you can eat baked goods?  Who could resist?  Not Russ.

Note: I have no regrets.

After dinner, he went to the show, laughed his ass off, and even got a Valentine's Day card.  Pretty good way to spend a Valentine's Day don't you think?

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Russ was tired, oh so very tired.  He got home after his Valentine's Day evening around midnight, and wanted to fall asleep immediately... all he wanted was sleep.  He was maybe getting 2-3 hours a night... maybe.  Even taking the sleeping pills, he'd just lay there awake, but completely out of it.  Those things are going to ruin him in the end... he probably shouldn't of looked up the side effects.

The Drug Dealer had just moved out, so Russ had one less person to worry about keeping him awake at night.  The Prophet was still a problem though.  That night The Prophet got out of bed around 1:00am and decided to eat some food.  He fucking cooked up an omelet, came back in the room and ate that, then went and poured himself a bowl of cereal, came back to the room and ate that, then finished eating he turned on the TV and started watching some religious shit.

While Russ laid there, he kept hearing The Prophet giggling, when Russ looked over The Prophet was taking pictures of the TV with his iPhone.

"What the fuck is this guy doing?"

Russ managed to fall asleep eventually, until the next morning when The Prophet and The Actor struck up a conversation about religion, and some dude named Jesus.

The Drug Dealer had moved out, so The Actor thought he do some cleaning in the room.  When they both saw Russ was awake they included him in the conversation

"Russ, it would be an honor if you accepted Jesus, and God's love into your life, a real honor man."
"Well I guess you guys have another 6 weeks to convince me heh heh..."

They didn't laugh.

Somehow the conversation shifted course for a little bit, to talk about some comedy movie Robert Townsend was in where he was a slave.  The Actor and The Prophet were joking around, talking about slaves... they were making jokes, and doing the whole "Masta, masta, we's were doin ours jobs..." or whatever.

The Prophet said...

"See Russ you're supposed to laugh, this is what it's like hanging around black people, we joke about this kinda stuff."

Russ thought to himself...

"Oh really?  Cause I've never hung out with any black people, we don't have them in Kansas City, oh also I know when to laugh.  You laugh when something's funny."

The Prophet gathered his things up, and left.  The Actor continued his cleaning, and talking to Russ for awhile.  He talked about his life when he was younger, and before he really accepted God's love... he used to steal cars, sell drugs, curse, and he had always believed in God, but then one day he decided to accept God's love, and changed his ways.

"You see Russ, when I auditioned for the part of TK on Warner Brother's show Parent'Hood, I had God's love on my side and I got the part."
"Yea."
"You know who else auditioned for the part?"
"Who?"
"Usher."
"Oh yea?"
"I had God's love on my side so I got the part."
"So... is Usher not religious...?"
"Oh... uh... I don't know, but what I'm getting at is if you want to go farther in life, you need to have God's love on your side, live your life in God's light."
"Ok..."
"Russ, if you accept God's love, you could be bigger than Spielberg, or just as big as Spielberg, who knows?"
"So you don't think people get where they are in life with their talents, and their smarts?"
"Well, you go farther with God on your side."
"I mean... there's got to be rich and famous people out there that don't believe in God right?"
"Ok Russ, get this... would you rather be rich and happy here, and then after you die, spend the rest of eternity with God, or rich and not happy, and when you die you go to hell?"
"Well... uh... that doesn't seem like a very fair question, but... obviously I want to be happy."
"See? In the end, everyone who accepts God will spend eternity with him, and God will cast aside everyone else."
"Well that doesn't seem very fair."
"Everyone has their chance to accept God Russ."
"What about other cultures that are raised differently, with different beliefs.  You grow up accepting the beliefs you were taught, and if they die, God just casts them aside?"
"Russ, everyone has their chance... God is everywhere.  You go to a hotel what do you find in the room?"
"Uh..."
"A Bible."
"Ok..."
"When you turn on the TV, do you ever see those religious infomercials?"
"Uh... sometimes I guess..."
"There you go, you see, God is everywhere."
"I don't think everyone in the world has been to a hotel, and obviously not everyone has a television..."

The only way this conversation was going to end if Russ just kind of played along, and just heard The Actor out until he was finished talking... or... until The Actor got a phone call, and Russ hopped in the shower.  Thank you God.

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Next time on "Everything's Coming Up Russes!"

The Actor wakes Russ up one morning, and asks Russ for help... will Russ help?
The Drug Dealer's band has a concert, and asks Russ to come... will Russ go?
This and more... next time.