There was a kid.  He had a rare disease.  It messed with his face.  Some Comic made of fun of said kid, and wished him to be dead on stage.  I found it tasteless and unfunny, and was proud of the kid for suing the comic, although I may be the only one.  

Said comic lost the lawsuit and had to pay this kid and his mom I think it was under 40 grand, but don’t quote me.  I didn’t pay much attention ….. but you know who did?

EVERY COMIC AND WANNABE COMIC ON THE PLANET WENT BERSERK.

I’m not going to mention names here, but here is the kid….

Don’t ya think he has been made fun of enough?  So what?  He sued the only bully he could that had money.  And now he has a little cake in the bank, which probably eases his daily suffering.  To me?  Good on ya, kiddo.  In my opinion, poking fun at a disabled child is low hanging fruit, and you have to be a pretty shite comic to head to that well for material.

I AM PRETTY SURE THERE IS A COMIC BURNING MY HOUSE DOWN AS I TYPE THIS.

I know, I know, FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION and all that jazz.  I wasn’t on the jury folks, this is just my opinion.  How do you draw a line of what is funny and what is gonna cost ya around 40 g’s?  Can you draw that line?  If so, why isn’t Bill Cosby suing every comic in the country?  The jury on this kids’ case drew the line of ‘ there being a difference between making fun of a public figure and making fun of a child with a disability. ‘ It’s their line to draw, not mine, and it’s been done….so GET OVER IT and don’t make fun of a disabled child in your act, comedians!  Apparently disabled CHILDREN are ok, but if you call out a disabled CHILD BY NAME, you’re going to have a problem, and IMO again - you are a shite comic anyway.

OK, so sick kid, weird comic, Canadian comics lose their mind, where was I?  Oh yes…..Terry Bollea aka Hulk friggin Hogan.

The Hulkster has spent the past four years, with the financial backing of a dude that was outed by Gawker media for being gay (AND HE IS ACTUALLY GAY!!), sued Gawker media for exposing a sex tape of Hulk Hogan cheating on his wife with his buddie’s wife, Heather Clem.  Said hubster taped it and put it in a drawer, and a lifetime later, Gawker got their hands on it.

Gawker has filed for bankruptcy as a result.  No more Gawker.

WHY SHOULD YOU CARE?

Let me put it to you this way……

You work at…let’s say….a Donut Shop.  You steal a shit ton of donuts from work, it’s all on tape and your boss puts it on the internet to defame your character because he is right mad that you stole so many donuts.

Who is in the wrong here?  The donut shop guy, or you for being a weird donut stealer?  YOU.  YOU WEIRD DONUT STEALER. YOU.

So the Hulkster got upset of the leaked footage and went crazy on Gawker, so much so that Gawker is now out of business.  Why should you care?  Let me clue ya….

Gawker media hosts I believe, ten blogs, Gawker itself being one that reports on the seedy realities of the rich and famous, they refuse to be bought off, and they bring the dark side of the celebrity quo to light.

Do I care about celebrities?  Not really.  Do I give a shit that the Hulkman got dirty with some broad named Heather and cheated on his spouse?  Not at all. BUT!!  That isn’t the question.  Whether or not people love reading that seedy crap (and they do!!) is not the subject of this lawsuit.

So, by this not gay/gay dude and Terry Bollea bankrupting this website, they  have essentially canned the idea of any media outlets ever in future reporting on anything that would show the bad side of anyone famous - including politicians - in fear of the almighty dollar making another win.  FREEDOM OF EXPRESSION/SPEECH JUST LOST A LOT MORE THAN THE ABILITY TO MAKE FUN OF A DISABLED KID.

Did Gawker lose the court case?  Yes.  Somebody decided Gawker was in the wrong….but why?

I believe it is because they haven’t heard my expanded donut shop theory….and it may be too little too late….but here it is.

Being a celebrity is a job that is chosen most of the time.  Actors, musicians, politicians, all CHOOSE the limelight as a career platform.  They are the “workers” at the donut shop of limelight, and the media is their boss.  They have a responsibility for themselves and their behaviours, like all of us at our jobs. Our bosses (yours and mine) would lose it if we stuck our fingers in the Boston Creme Donut sauce, or drank straight from the pop fountain.  Albeit, the camera over their (the famouses) donut counter is on 24 hours a day, and more than just the townsfolk will find out if they steal, but they are getting paid quite hefty to stand there and ‘be good’ so I think it evens out the intense scrutiny. 

But now, thanks to not gay/gay guy and Hulk friggin’ Hogan, no matter what happens at that donut shop, the bosses are too scared to fire them.  Steal, pee on the donuts, rub your butt on fresh muffins - it doesn’t matter - because the powers that be are runnin’ scared.  Terrified in fact.

Why is this so wretched?  Because you and I are fired the instant we get caught rubbing our butts on muffins, or stealing the donuts - heck if we are late three times in row we sometimes get canned - and these rules put in place by our bosses are in hopes that we will continue to behave at work, leave the damn muffins alone, and not become dough and icing thieves.  And it works.  We all need our jobs, so we try our best to live up to the standards expected of us at our jobs, and follow the rules in place so that we do not lose our positions, go broke, and die alone.  

If you are getting paid millions of dollars per year AND you put your face on magazine covers, than I say if you pee on the donuts the tape should be leaked.  Or, if you are dumb enough to screw your buddie’s wife and he tapes it, you should have zero repercussion. Sue the buddy if you’re bent out of shape.  I can’t yell ‘no fair’ at my boss if he puts a tape of me going south on my coworker near the danishes on the internet, and I DEFINITELY cannot keep my job.  I DESERVE TO BE FIRED.  Can I be mad at my boss? Sure.  But should I be allowed to sue him because he exposed the truth?  Where is the freedom of speech in that?

So, in closing, this Gawker thing obviously has me very bent out of shape, because I feel that now magazine faces have a green light to permanent job safety without rules and repercussion, and the words FREEDOM OF SPEECH AND EXPRESSION to the media just became a swear….worse than the C word, worse than the F word.  Don’t even say it alone at home under the blankets.  Because it ain’t a thing no more.  It’s now called ‘violating celebrity privacy’, and you can’t do it. Not now.  Not ever.  

And that shit just ain’t fair.  Hulk stole the donuts!  If I cheated on my spouse and he posted it on the net, do I deserve $$? No.  What if I was getting paid millions to be good, and I did the same?  Still no.

So…dear comedians, don’t fight for your right to say mean shite to a hard up child…..be furious that if you PUBLICLY mention the seedy dealings of a PUBLIC FIGURE, you’re kidneys and children will be for sale come morning to pay for the damage you just caused said PUBLIC figure, whom you spoke of.  PUBLICLY.  

SIDE NOTE - Some of these starlets run our country!  There should be a camera on those mofos all damn day in my opinion!

xo - J