Oh yes. I am a Ninja. And I am returning from my hectic Ninja life and schedule to post in this REAL LIFE NINJA BLOG, BITCHES!
Where have I been all this time? Well, I do have a life, you know... a NINJA LIFE. That's different to what other people who write blogs and go on the internet have, because they don't have a life at all. And it's different to what socially active people have because ninja life is ETERNAL. Which makes someone with a normal life have no life at all. Because they can't see in the dark, like a ninja (such as me).
Funny thing is, as a ninja I cannot die. But I kill other people. Which means I have claimed many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many...

... sorry, my hand was aching a bit there. No, not from typing "many", but from throwing 1000 ninja stars (also known as shrukiens) a second, which is a new world record! However, I will not be in that world record book, as I am a ninja and for me to be in the book I would have to kill everyone who read it. Which wouldn't be a problem. We could make it like, a pop up book and when people open it I pop out and stab them in the face and say "1000 a second, HAHA!"

Where was I? I lost my ninja train of thought... oh yes! Many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many, many lives. Which means I OWN them. So not only do I own an eternal, ninja life, I own many inferior, non-ninja lives too!

Could you imagine how easy a Mario game would be if Mario was a NINJA? He would have infinite lives and he wouldn't need those stupid green mushrooms. And he would be able to fly whenever he wanted and cut Bowser in half with his Mario Sword.
Mario is similar to a ninja in many ways; he uses organic methods of first aid such as mushrooms and herbs, he can fly, he is on a mission to save a princess and he can launch fire from his hands.

So yes, I AM A NINJA AND I RETURN!
I have many ninja tales to tell you... some are so AWESOME that I may have to sneak into your room or teleport there at night and cut your throat. This includes the story of my ninja quest, UNDERWATER, a ninja betrayal as my fellow ninjas found out I am using the internet to reveal ninja secrets to non-ninja folk and other stories. It may take some time, because even though my stealthy ninja fingers type faster than a ninja on speed, I wrote them out on SECRET NINJA SCROLLS first. I must first translate this secret ninja language, for if you non-ninja people were ever to read it, you would swallow your tongue and die, for you cannot handle this secret language like me.