SCOTT DEPOT, WV – After dozens of complaints from residents of this small West Virginia town, Putnam County Sheriff’s deputies escorted former President Jimmy Carter out of Robert Byrd State Park yesterday and transported him back to his motel in a police cruiser. Mr. Carter smiled and waved to onlookers from the squad car. Because of numerous reports of impropriety the officers warned the president that if he returns to the park he would be given a citation and possibly be arrested. “President Carter is in his nineties now and it broke my heart making him leave the park,” Sheriff Clyde Snatch told reporters. “I don’t think he meant any harm, but he was frightening our citizens so we were forced to take action.” Jimmy Carter’s attorney claims the former president visited the park every day to soak up some sun, listen to birds chirp and to wave to people. “Mr. Carter loves people. There’s nothing more thrilling for him than to sit comfortably on a park bench and meet people. Mr. Carter wants everyone to know that his visits to the park were always benign and free from malice.” Kimberly Klemptf used to bring her five-year old to the […]