DALLAS – Top executives at 7-Eleven announced today that the company plans to implement prostate examinations into its ever growing menu of services. Speaking to a large group of 7-Eleven employees, senior director of sales Portnoy Clam expressed his excitement about adding prostate exams in five million 7-Eleven stores by August. The response from employees was mixed. While many expressed surprise, others sighed with resignation amongst a smattering of applause from the executives attending the meeting. Mr. Clam explained that 7-Eleven is doing its part to help combat the staggering costs of health care in the U.S. He said that 7-Eleven will not be doing PSA testing (prostate specific antigen) because it requires drawing blood from the customer. Instead, the company will focus solely on digital rectal examinations. “We were brainstorming to try and figure out a way to lower the monthly costs of our rubber glove orders,” Mr. Clam said during his interview on 60 Minutes. “Because we sell hot food items the law requires that all employees wear rubber gloves. During a surprise inspection at one of our stores, an associate happened to mention a news article about the singer Meatloaf getting a prostate exam. At that moment I was […]