BEAVERTON, OREGON – Rod Sterling has been the Assistant Manager of Beaverton’s Chuck E. Cheese restaurant for eleven years. He’s had to deal with surly children, spilled drinks and crying toddlers. He’s helped burp babies, break up fights and calm impatient mothers. But for all his experiences in his eleven years as a Chuck E. Cheese assistant manager, Rod had yet to encounter any naked pedophiles picnicking outside the entrance of his restaurant before. “Hell, I thought I’d seen it all before today,” Rod carped, puffing on a Camel non-filter. “I’ve wrestled with drunk dads, fought off amorous moms and been kicked you know where by 4 year-old hoodlums. But yesterday was my first naked pedophile.” Rod flipped his cigarette into the parking lot. “And I for dang sure hope he was my last!” he snorted. Sigourney Ledbetter is a thirty-five year-old pedophile from Yamhill, Oregon, about thirty miles southwest of Beaverton. He’s worked as an x-ray technician at a small hospital for two years. Before that Mr. Ledbetter dabbled in new age mysticism, designed simulated leather handbags and supported a variety of local causes. In November of 2010 Sigourney celebrated film director Roman Polanski’s release from jail by sitting […]