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My day at the zipper factory was substantially less satisfactory than expected.

First, there were no Coat hangers in the front lobby.

No Coat Hangers upon which to hang my coat.

My coat with a zipper.

Me to hideous bug-eyed troll: Shouldn’t you be under your bridge?

Troll: The next factory tour begins in 10 minutes. No firearms allowed.

During the tour it was revealed that Abraham Lincoln Invented the zipper.

The troll also let us know that Abraham Lincoln invented the internet

only it was made of wood at the time.

I noticed the troll’s name tag said, “Abraham Lincoln.”

At the snack bar I asked him who won the “Civil War.”

He said it was a good question, but he didn’t know either.