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Last night I dreamed I was in my cat suit
dragging a steak passed the dog pound.
All the dogs looked a bit like Marmaduke.
None of them looked like dolphins.
Life’s that way sometimes.

I kept hearing this beeping noise in my head.
It wouldn’t go away.
I looked down between my legs and noticed I was driving a truck.
Well, backing up a truck.
I was particularly pleased with myself for making this discovery
and for not being a dolphin.

Jim asked: “May I have more butter.”
I replied: “I’m sorry Jim there is no more butter.”
Knowing full well that we had a fridge in the janitorial supply closet fully stocked with butter.
It felt good to be an asshole.
And to not be a dolphin.