7:00AM- Symptom free. Plan on telecommuting today. Celebrate with a bacon and egg sandwich with a side of ham.

8:00AM through 5:00PM- I've re-entered productive society. Aside from answering way too many questions about how I feel, it was a good day. The sun even came out today for the first time in days as if to say, "Hey, have some sun". Still want to get the hell out of the House. Planning my escape tomorrow when Mrs. MacTavish isn't looking.

Three days of symptoms that were never too debilitating. Was it genetics? Was it my blood-alcohol level? Was I just lucky? Only the swine flusiologist in the sky can answer that one.

During the past four days I consumed 11 quarts of Gatorade, slept 49 hours, took five baths and three showers, had 12 meals in bed, Watched the opening sequence of The Dark Knight eight times, watched Sarah Palin "Going Rogue" 14 times, though she doesn't look very rogue. Maybe it's future tense and she hasn't "gone rogue" yet. Maybe it's a threat like "Going Postal". My clothes smell like Lysol, and I really feel like I'm getting to know Wolf Blitzer well. Maybe too well. Still never caught the end of Apollo 13. Maybe next flu.

Other things I've learned this week: Mrs. MacTavish is too kind, our dog walks around on our hardwood floors all friggin' day, my neighbor's house needs to be painted, 24 hours is plenty despite what the crybabies say, HBO is worth the investment during flu season, Afghanistan needs troops, the President bowed to the emperor of China too early, I want to beat the idiot with the white board from the UPS commericals with a bag of hammers, and Oprah is finally quitting. Finally.

But it's all over, as far as I'm concerned and I'm shuttin' er down. Perhaps this is premature given the stories of relapse, but I'm feeling confident that this human has won the pig races. I know I've been far luckier than some as I'm neither young nor old. I feel for anyone who has had it worse, and for those who may have lost someone to the illness. I know this virus like other flu viruses leaves a wake of grief and misery. That said, stay healthy.