Tensions continue to rise as tariff rhetoric escalates, and the timetables approach.  Rather than back down, the President seems to be ratcheting up the tweats, calling for a trade war, apparently.  The entire NAFTA agreement could be up for grabs.  A recent meeting with the Prime Minister of Canada broke down when the Canadian leader started singing, “American Woman, get away from me,” a song from the early 1970’s.  A spokesperson representing American women later said that would be no problem, fella.

Meanwhile, however, Gift Shops across the land Fear that any trade war with China could decimate their sources of cheap trinkets and chintzy souvenirs.  “We do not have any good options at this point,” said the Chairperson of Gift Association of Bizarreville.  “We may be forced to selling good stuff at higher prices…if we can find anybody that still makes artsy crafty gadgets.  May have to check some Senior Living residences.”

Many people still hope that the trade negotiations will be resolved, so that announced tariffs on soybeans, maple syrup, strawberry jam, chicken incubators, bowling machines, and saran wrap will go away, and allow Wall Street to breathe a sigh of relief.

Disclaimer:  all stories in Bizarreville are fiction, even if you wish they were true.