Welcome to a sunny South Manchester. We’ve just returned from a weekend in Liverpool, home of the Beatles and the alma mater of both Mrs PM and myself (although at different times). I realised that it has been forty years since I left the place and it was weird to go back. We wandered around the university area for old times’ sake and realised how much it has changed. I’ve been back to the city many times in those forty years and I love the place – well worth a visit I have to say.

Shall we do the usual silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. If you could witness any event from history, what would it be?

Two things leap to mind. 

The first is to go to Pompeii a month before the volcano erupted and flattened the place. I Love ancient Roman culture and I believe that before it was destroyed, Pompeii was considered a place where the more wealthy Roman citizens lived and hung out. Obviously I would leave well before Vesuvius erupted but I think it would be quite an experience to see Roman life.

Secondly I would pop back to try and have a chat with Jesus. Being brought up as a Roman Catholic means that this man’s life was carved into my mind as a child via constant masses and indoctrination from Catholic priests and the teachers at the Catholic Junior School I attended up to the age of ten or eleven.

I would like to just sit down and ask him a few questions and see what the man was like. It would be extremely interesting I think. 

2. What do you think about conspiracy theories?

I love conspiracy theories, the more bizarre the better. I particularly love the Flat Earth Theory and I would love to have a conversation with a true Flat Earther. 

I also love the whole conspiracy surrounding Roswell. In fact that would be a third thing that I would go back in time for (see question 1) – to see what happened in Roswell. 

I find it amazing that people like David Icke exist. I think he is as mad as a bag of frogs but spending an hour in his company would be fantastic. I particularly love his “truth” that we are under the control of inter-dimensional lizards. 

It’s fascinating, disturbing, funny and interesting all at the same time.

3. Do you like cartoons? Do you have /had a favourite one?

Yes – I like the old cartoons like Tom and Jerry, The Pink Panther and Wacky Races. 

In terms of modern ones, I love the Simpsons. I’ve recently been watching South Park which is disgusting but also really funny. 

4. What did you most dislike in school times?

I went to a Grammar School where the whole package was geared towards making yourself a success both for your benefit and also the benefit of the school. Don’t get me wrong, I owe that school everything but the overall philosophy of the place was something that irritated me. It didn’t help that I was an unpleasant spotty adolescent with an anarchistic streak that got stronger as time progressed. I found myself at odds with the school traditions and I often clashed with teachers. I could have handled it in a better way, I think, and sometimes I cringe when I look back at myself during that time. 

I guess the teachers and the school had to cope with a lot of arses like me (we were all driven by crazy hormones) but somehow they got me through it. 

Despite moaning about the school, I am eternally grateful to all the staff who had to put up with me.

5. What sounds are in your opinion relaxing? The sound of the sea? Traffic? Vacuum cleaner? Combine harvester on the field? Some kind of music? Birds singing? ...

I find the sound of the sea crashing onto the a beach incredibly relaxing. Whenever we go to a seaside resort I try to find time just to sit there listening to the sea. I am at my most relaxed late at night when the crowds have disappeared, just listening to the sea with perhaps some mellow music in the background. 

6. What was the last thing you read?

I read a quadrilogy of science fiction novels about space assassins. It was good fun, although they didn’t really live up to the literary prestige that perhaps people would expect a well-educated geek to enjoy.

7. What is one thing that has stumped you so hard you won't ever forget it?

I don't understand how the British tabloids manage to get away with what they get away with. Some of the things these so-called “newspapers” write is incredible and bordering on libellous and a lot of the things they write come from dodgy sources. There have been allegations of phone-hacking and all manner of nefarious tricks just to “get a story”. 

I cannot understand how some of them are still in circulation. 

8. What are you interested in that most people aren’t?

Progressive rock and progressive metal is one such thing. Most of the bands I like are obscure and while I praise them, a lot of people say “Who are they again?”.

9. What’s something you really resent paying for?

The additional booking charges on concert tickets or as I like to call them, the “rip-off fees”. In the past we would be offered tickets for say £20 and then they would say that there is a booking fee of say £5 meaning we would pay £25. And then postage comes on top of that. 

These days I can buy a ticket online and get it sent to my phone at no cost and they still charge a “rip-off fee”. 

How on earth can they justify it?

10. If you could choose a different time period and place to be born, when and where would it be?

I wouldn’t change it. I think I’ve been really lucky in terms of avoiding wars (so far), reaching a wonderful peak in the 1980’s (still my Favourite decade) and not being saddled with debts because of circumstance. When I look back I have been very lucky and I think the time I was born was perfect. 

11. What's one question you would ask Superman?

Why are you here talking to me? You’re just a comic book hero.

12. What's your favourite smell? What's your least favourite smell?

Off the top of my head, I love the smell of cooking food, especially bacon. 

I hate the smell of hospitals and all things associated with them. Let’s face it – I hate hospitals. 

13. How do you feel about cars becoming fully autonomous and having no steering wheel, breaks, or accelerators?

I read something once about special tracks and roads being created to ensure that such vehicles will be a lot safer and the risk of accidents would be severely mitigated as a result. I would welcome that because technology can go wrong for multiple reasons. 

Being a technophile though, I hope it happens sooner rather than later. 

14. What are your favourite books and authors?

I love anything quirky and weird, like science fiction and horror. I also love espionage novels like those written by Robert Ludlum, the creator of Jason Bourne. 

My favourite authors are Robert Ludlum, Dean Koontz, Stephen King, Peter F Hamilton and Blake Crouch. There are too many to list them all. 

15. Have you had a reading or palm reading done?

No. 

I don’t believe in such things. Like everything, I would love to have proof that such things are in any way real and can actually be based on something tangible.  

But as far as I can tell, there is no proof whatsoever. I am far to skeptical and I would need concrete proof. I think that is the scientist in me objecting.