Welcome to a cloudy but dry south Manchester on day 97 since our resident clown lifted all restriction due to Covid-19. 

At the moment I am working back in the office two days a week but last week a person who, thankfully doesn’t sit near to me, tested positive for this wretched virus. By all accounts he is okay but I have taken a lateral flow test just in case – and thankfully I am still fine.

I won’t be going into the office next week because I am making my second trip to London this year on Thursday for a long weekend of being a tourist with Mrs PM before visiting a couple of friends down there. I don’t want Covid-19 to ruin that.

Shall we answer some silly questions from Sunday Stealing? 

1. First thing you wash in the shower?

Woah! That’s a personal start isn’t it? Do you know, I don’t actually know what I wash first – hang on – let me think. It’s probably my Hair because I have to get the useless Unmanageable Mop under control after a night that has morphed it into weird shape. 

2. What colour is your favourite hoodie?

I don’t actually own any hoodies. I do own three coats that have hoods: a blue summer jacket that claims to be waterproof but isn’t, a truly waterproof jacket that is so good at its job that it makes me sweat when I wear if for a long walk and a huge thick winter coat that is perfect for those cold, dismal, dark and depressing winter months (that are approaching too fast for my liking). 

3. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Of course I would. I don’t give kisses lightly and if a person gets a kiss, they usually deserve another.

4. Do you plan outfits?

Absolutely not. I just open my wardrobe and pick up the first thing that takes my fancy. Actually, having said that, sometimes if I am going to a posh party or something like that, I may plan to wear my penguin suit.

5. How are you feeling RIGHT now?

I am feeling terrific and looking forward to an enjoyable day. 

6. What’s the closest thing to you that's red?

Embarrassingly, this book.

7. Tell me about the last dream you remember having?

It’s an odd recurring Dream that is the result of my body telling my sleeping brain that it needs to heed a call of nature in the middle of the night. Whatever dream I having is invaded by the concept that in my dream I have to go to the toilet urgently. This usually manifests itself in a toilet appearing in my dream that I simply cannot use because there is something wrong with it. For example, if I am dreaming that I am working in an office, the toilet appears in the middle of the room in full view of everyone who is working. Obviously I can’t use it because there is no way I can expose myself in front of all my colleagues. So I wake up and have to go in reality.

Odd, aren’t I?

8. Did you meet anybody new today?

Not today, no, because so far I haven’t been out of the house yet. 

9. What are you craving right now?

I’ve just had some lunch so the truth is that I am not craving anything. I wouldn’t mind another cup of tea, though.

10. Do you floss?

Yes – otherwise my dentist tells me off. Whenever I go to the dentist I feel like a naughty child who has been summoned to see the headmaster for doing something unspeakable. My dentist is a young bloke and I always feel a little weird when he asks me how often I floss and then tells me off for overbrushing and all of the other things I do incorrectly. The strange this is that at the end of the examination, he always says “Your teeth are fine. Keep up the good work!”

Odd, isn’t it?

11. What comes to mind when I say cabbage?

Yeuch! I’m not a big fan of cabbage if I’m honest, particularly that dark green veiny abomination below.

It looks like something out of an alien horror movie, doesn’t it?

The white variety is edible though and I do try to eat it because, supposedly, it is good for your health. At least that’s what my mum used to tell me.

12. Are you emotional?

I can be. The problem is that I sometimes show emotion over the most mundane and innocuous things, like a TV program, or a great song – like this one. 

13. Have you ever counted to 1,000?

No – why would I ever do that?

14. Do you bite into your ice cream or just lick it?

I do a bit of both actually. 

15. Do you like your hair?

Not at all – and equally my hair hates me. Regular readers will know this. My hair is short at the moment but even so it is an unmanageable mop. When it is longer it becomes a sentient being that taunts me mercilessly, especially when I wake up in the morning. I swear I can hear it saying “Good luck trying to get ME under control!”

If you don’t believe me, please read this cringeworthy account in a post I wrote back in 2008:

Bad Hair Day