I admit it, I like to play Skip-It! The brilliant part of it is that it has a built-in counter on it so you can keep your mind free and clear to focus on your next jump. So I was hanging out in a forest preserve during my lunch break and working out a little Skip-It! When I notice that the preserve is pretty busy for Tuesday afternoon. I start walking over to a car to ask if deer hunting season started yet, when the guy in the car opens his door to talk to me? "Hey", he said, "Wanna get in the car?" He seemed nice. Tank top, cut off Jean shorts, and a smile that really said to me "How are you? I'd like to be your friend." "You got any candy?" I asked. "You bet, right in here!" I finished my last Skip-It!, 8 by the way, not my best, and I got in his car. It kind of smelled like someone shit inside a jar of Oil Of Olay, but whatever. "So what kind of Candy you got?" I asked him politely, because mother says never to sound like you're begging for something you want. "Everlasting Gobstopper" he replied, "You can suck it all night." Now already I'm pissed, because if he thinks I'm too dumb to realize how an Everlasting Gobstopper works, we're off to a rocky friendship. "Do you like that idea?" I'm kind of pissed now so I get greedy. "I was kind of hoping for something nougatty, like a 3 Muskateers bar or a Baby Ruth?" He starts getting all huffy and says, "Look buddy, are you going to suck my dick or not!" Well that hardly seemed worth the price of a couple of candy bars, so I politely told him I was just interested in the candy and I'd take a pass on oral sex. This guy flips and tells me to get the fuck out of his car. Can you believe it! I bet his mom never told him not to throw a tantrum when he didn't get what he wanted. Oh Well.

Moral? Just because a stranger in a car says he has candy, he might not really, or he might just not have what you want.

Damn Gina! (I'm still looking for that elusive KCL, killer closing line.)