Easing into the francophone lifestyle was no great feat. Let's face it, consuming large hunks of delicious cheese can hardly be considered torture, I always had a penchant for a good pain au chocolat, my derriere can stil take in the nasty one-croissant-a-day habit I've developed and I'm even starting to like the persona I seem to acquire whenever I speak French - the sing song melody of the language turns me into a politer, more good-natured version of my usual self. Turns out the hardest nut to crack has been adapting my reserved, peoplephobic Slovenian self to the touchy feely Frenchy way. I'm talking air kissing here. If you were to count all the kisses I've given and received in a lifetime, it would probably add up to half the sum of those I've dispensed and accepted over the past two years.
Trust me, the begining was rough. I got myself into many an awkward social situation when I would stick out my hand upon being introduced to new people, only to see a bewildered look cross their face. I soon realised that Kissing would have to become my modus operandi, but I could never quite shake off the cold contraction of my body at the first sign of an iminent kiss with a stranger, friend or foe (no, I could almost hear it bellow, nooooooooo!) Coming to work I would have to kiss my colleagues hello and come 5 o'clock kiss them good-bye. Going to a party and meeting new people would entail a flourish of kissing activity right and Left. I'd arrive at my friendly neighborhood bar only to wait a lifetime to order my drink, what with the complicated procedure of kissing each and every waiter I "knew" beforehand. My second meeting with the Purebred parents and already we'd be Air Kissing like there's no tomorrow.
Just recently I had lunch with one of my former bosses. And what do we do? We kiss. Kissing the hiearchy, people! The superior! Is it me or is there not something borderline indecent about that? Oh but I leaned in and offered first my right then my left cheek like a veritable pro, dahling. I even pulled off the appropriate smiling expression, said ca va? at the correct interval and did it all in one seamless offhand motion. No small acomplishment.
Strange thing is, you'd think coming back to Slovenia would be a relief. And what happens? Each time I meet people I know, I have to fight off the urge to kiss them. Dig in my memory and remember the once familiar gesture of stiffly sticking out my hand. To strangers, foes and weirdest of all, friends. But oh how I long to nonchalantly lean in and smack them two big ones, one right, one left.
* That would be Slovene for Poulette.
Strange thing is, you'd think coming back to Slovenia would be a relief. And what happens? Each time I meet people I know, I have to fight off the urge to kiss them. Dig in my memory and remember the once familiar gesture of stiffly sticking out my hand. To strangers, foes and weirdest of all, friends. But oh how I long to nonchalantly lean in and smack them two big ones, one right, one left.
* That would be Slovene for Poulette.
