Marcus Aurelius, Roman emperor and philosopher, once said “How much more grievous are the consequences of Anger than the causes of it.” Benjamin A. Middendorf, 25, of Florida knows only too well the consequences of anger. In the midst of an argument involving a cheeseburger, Benjamin A. Middendorf shot and killed his brother, 28-year-old Nicholas Middendorf. In the 911 call, a man—presumably Benjamin Middendorf yells
“I just shot my brother on accident […]. We were in a fight, and I grabbed a gun, and I shot him.”
While most of us don’t end an argument over a cheeseburger with a gun, we’ve all likely experienced moments where our rage or frustration has caused us to do or say something regrettable. What can we do to Prevent our own anger or violent lash outs in the future?
1. Keep Weapons Locked Up
Preventing violence requires thinking ahead. Even though the day may start out with sunshine and daffodils, a storm can strike in a moment. Don’t let the storm strike you unawares. Always lock up weapons when not in use to prevent accidents, flash-second decisions, and flash-second fatalities.
Take a Deep Breath
If in an argument, take a Deep Breath. Release the tension. If still tense with emotion, take another deep breath. Deep breathing is a technique used in yoga and meditation to help participants relax. According to WebMD, it’s one of the best methods of stress reduction because it decreases your heart rate and lowers high blood pressure.
Create Distance
Create space. Walk away. Take time to consider. Give the other person time. Arguments can escalate very quickly. Deescalate it. Walk away. Oftentimes, a little time and distance allows room for perspective shifts.
In the future, use these techniques to rein in anger. And of course, if you are the recipient of violence—get away, contact the proper authorities, and seek a restraining order. There is no justification for violence during an argument. As Marcus Aurelius said
“How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
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