•   “A” is for AI. Either over-egging artificial intelligence capabilities or doom-mongering about our new robot overlords.

•   “B” is for Blockchain. And Pretending to know what it is.

•   “C” is for Customers.  They are the start point for everything, so probably deserve more than lip service than at least one library shot of a generic person in every presentation.

•   “D” is for Digital.  Because it has come a long way since those watches in the ‘80s.

•   “E” is for Emotion.  Because it’s easy to wax lyrical that choosing a detergent Brand is a bit like your wedding day.  Which probably has a Long Term brand benefit..

•   “F” is for Facebook.  And over-egging its role in the media mix.

•   “G” is for Grime artists.  And making it clear that you know who Skepta is without coming across like a meeting room dad at a disco.

•   “H” is for HomePod.  Because 100% of consumers have an iPhone and we all need a 24 / 7 activated assistant on standby because we are so busy (see T)

•   “I” is for innovation.  Wanging on about the concept, not the actual activity.

•   “J” is for jobs.  Forget about those in creative industries.  The robots are coming (see A)

•   “K” is for KPIs.  Because people will probably be keeping a close eye on those.  What with the forthcoming economic apocalypse and all that.

•   “L” is for Learning.  Always a good thing.  But if you’re a bit short of time, just repeatedly mention brand purpose, whilst pretending to have read “The Long and Short of It”.

•   “M” is for Millennials.  Who are obviously all stuck in a space-time loop, doomed to an eternity of being self-entitled 20 year olds who are really good at using mobile phones.

•   “N” is for nonsense.  Acronyms, -isms or -ations.

•   “O” is for Omni.  Feel free to jump channel before continuing.

•   “P” is for Purpose.  Because consumers prefer supporting Patagonian basket weavers to price or value.

•   “Q” is for quixotic.  No idea what it means, but definitely worth peppering into the odd sentence to sound like you know more than everyone else.

•   “R” is for ROI.  (See K.  Really.  Someone will definitely be checking.)

•   “S” is for shaving.  Because beards will be about as cool as a mullet in 1996 by mid-June.  Check social media if you disagree.

•   “T” is for time.  And loudly proclaiming how little of it there is.  Busy is the new rock and roll.

•   “U” is for Uber.  Because it’s not good strategy unless it’s the “Uber of Something”.

•   “V” is for Vegans.  Because there’s loads of them now and they have voices too.  With which not to buy bacon from Alexa.

•   “W” is for the World.  It’s on an environmental precipice.  We could probably do something with that.

•   “X” is for Gen X.  Sorry, who?

•   “Y” is for Young People.  We all, like, totally get them.

•   “Z” is for Z.  As in the generation.  You know, all topknots and over-earnestness.

•   “1” is for the next generic generational label.  Because presumably the human template resets annually, so it’ll be like when we ran out of letters for number plates.

 Piers Newson-Smith is the head of brand planning at Direct Line Group