As I read through my fellow blogger’s post about a year of dates, my excitement quickly turned to disappointment.  Like so many other lists of ideas, most of them wouldn’t work for me.  Chronic illness had made sure of that.  If you, too, are chronically ill —  or maybe you have other obstacles, like a new baby — what are you to do about date night with your spouse?

I mean, we have date nights here, but it’s so easy to fall into a rut of doing the same thing week after week, because it takes too much effort to come up with an idea when that evening rolls around.  Almost invariably, we just settle on a default instead.

So I set out to come up with my own year of at home date night ideas in a box, where none of them require leaving the house, they don’t require a large investment of energy, and (almost) none of them rely on food.  And I’m sharing everything you need to know to make your own, either for you & your own spouse, or as a gift to a friend.

How Much Will it Cost?

The cost to put this together will depend on the choices you make. 

I’ve tried to set it up so that costs can be kept fairly minimal.  These less-expensive options might be a good choice if you’re doing this for your own husband or wife, on a budget, where having plans made is more important to the gift than the physical substance of it. 

The original twelve-dates gift I read about, though, was a group gift put together as a wedding present.  In this case, you’re likely to have a larger budget — and also want it to look more “wow!”  In that case, you might include more of the more tangible options that tend to cost a bit more.  (I’ve included a printable with a list that makes it easy to figure up your total.)

Get the printable date kit.

Considerations for the Dates

There were a number of factors I wanted to accommodate with these dates.

• They’re all at-home dates.
• None of the dates is energy-intensive.  (e.g. no dancing)
• Only one of the dates requires food or drink, and the nature of it should allow easy accommodation for most diets.
• There’s some variety here.  Not as much, obviously, as if you were going out somewhere, but I tried to mix it up.
• Most of them are pick-up-and-go, with no pre-planning needed.  (The one exception is the one “food” date, where the couple might need to buy the food in advance, depending on the options you choose.)
• The weather and season don’t matter.  (The two bonus dates are exceptions, which is why they’re bonus dates and not part of the main twelve.)

Despite the fact that the dates are numbered, it doesn’t matter what order you use them in.  They’re numbered merely for convenience & identification.

I’ve made the assumption that the recipients have standard modern technology — the internet, in particular.  While dates don’t all involve just sitting and watching a screen, internet resources enable us to do many things at home that we would otherwise have to go out for.  I’m also operating on the assumption that the recipients are married, so if that’s not the case, you might need to make minor adjustments to one or two of the dates.

Date #1 — “Library” Scavenger Hunt

The Library Scavenger Hunt date was inspired by the Dating Divas’ bookstore date.  When my husband I do go out, the bookstore is one of our favorite places to go.  And as is common for those who love bookstores…we also have a lot of books!  

If you, too, have a lot of books, I’d encourage you to keep this one offline as much as possible.  If you don’t have what you need offline, feel free to use the internet, but in that case you might want to look up the prompts together, instead of doing it separately and then coming together to talk about them.  The real fun of this one (since you’re not getting to explore an actual bookstore) is sharing what you find!

Included in the printable kit.

Date #2 — Escape Room

You may or may not be familiar with the concept of Escape Rooms.  These establishments, popping up all over the world, are a type of puzzle that almost-meets-roleplay.  Typically they center around a story, and players have to solve a series of puzzles to “escape” the locked room.

At-home alternatives are also available.  Some require more setup than others, and they come in a variety of price points.  You only need to include one in your package, but you have to pick one!  A few of the print-at-home companies have free (or very low-cost) sample games available.  If your budget is super-tight, you might want to go with one of these, but be aware they usually are shorter than the other games.  Not a big deal, but just be prepared for the “game” portion of your date to not last as long.  

Here are some options I found.  I have not personally played all these!  I’m not vouching for them all; I just rounded them up for convenience.  As far as I can tell, all the ones I’m including can be played with only two people.  If you find one elsewhere, be sure it doesn’t require more than two players.  (Also check to make sure that there aren’t “spoilers” during setup, so both parties can enjoy it.)

• Escape Room in a Box: Flashback (physical purchased game option)
• Exit: The Sunken Treasure (physical purchased game option)
• Deckscape: Behind the Curtain (physical purchased game option)
• Lock Paper Scissors (print-at-home; multiple kits available but not all are meant for adults)
• Escape Team (digital/physical combo: print-at-home but also uses an app $0-0.99)
• Printable Escapes (print-at-home; free mini adventure or $10)
• Big Escape Rooms (printable; has spoilers so will only work if you’re setting this up for someone else, or have a helper)
• Time’s Up Escape Rooms (printable; $1 or $5 for mini-game or $15-$25 for full-length)
• The Panic Room (printable; about $13 USD)
• PDPrintables (printable; seem on the shorter/easier side, but inexpensive at $4-7)

Mattel Games Escape Room in A Box: FlashbackExit: The Sunken Treasure| Card-Based at-Home Escape Room for 1 to 4 PlayersDeckscape: Behind The Curtain Card Game

 

Alternatively, you can include similar puzzle games or alternatives that aren’t specifically escape rooms.

• Sherlock Holmes: The Case of the Secret Society
• Codenames Duet
• Geo Guessr (free online game)

Sherlock Holmes – The Case of The Secret Society – Mystery Quiz Game/Maze PuzzleCodenames: Duet – The Two Player Word Deduction Game

 

If you choose a printable game, print out all the parts and package it up in the envelope to go with your date.  If you choose an online game, print up or write up a pretty card with the link and put that in your envelope.  If you choose a physical game, wrap and label it to go in the date basket.

Date #3 — Asking Questions

Engage in some conversation with targeted questions or discussion prompts for couples.  There are a number of directions you can take this.  You can use “serious” questions (or discussion starters) for couples, like the “36 Questions” at 36 Questions in Love.  They say that answering these should take about an hour.

Or you can make it a bit fun and silly with something like Would You Rather?  Use the printable prompts (which are a mix) included in the printables for this post, include a card with a link to a question list (like the 36 Questions above), or wrap and include a game or card deck.

• Uncommon Questions (physical deck of conversation starter cards)
• ImaginIff (physical game — use just the cards)
• Would You Rather? (book of questions)
• Conversation Starters World (questions for couples)
• Mantelligence (conversation starters for couples — most of these presume you aren’t married yet)

One option is included in the printable kit.

Date #4 — Learn a New Skill

This is one of the trickiest dates to plan in any universal manner.  Everyone has different interests, so which skill you choose to feature here will vary.  It’s also one of the couple dates that most requires a cost investment, because you need to include the supplies for whatever skill you choose.

If diet is not an issue and your gift recipient(s) like(s) to cook, you could incorporate a cooking class here.  Likewise, if energy is a non-issue, you could go with dancing.  But almost anything new you can find a online class or a thorough tutorial or a kit for will work.  (Just keep in mind your recipient’s limitations, as appropriate.)  For instance:

• painting (watercolor, oils, miniatures…)
• dancing
• cake decorating
• leathercraft
• pyrography (woodburning)
• woodbuilding (small projects like a birdhouse or bee house)
• magic tricks (sleight of hand/illusion)
• bookbinding

Either wrap up a kit that includes instructions, or include a DVD course (or good how-to book) or card with link(s) to a course or instructions along with the supplies.

Reaper Miniatures 08906 Learn to Paint Kit Core Skills, Master SeriesRealeather Explore Leathercraft Kit, Includes Instructions and MaterialsRivajam Build a Bee House DIY Woodworking ProjectRISEBRITE Watercolor Paint Set Kids – 42 Pcs Watercolor Set

 

Date #5 — Watch a Movie

Watching a movie is pretty standard.  Many of you are probably already doing this for date night — and for that reason I almost didn’t include it.  But movie dates are also so classic it seemed wrong to omit it.  The key, then, is to ensure this stands out somehow from every other date night, either by wrapping up a new movie, making an unexpected recommendation, or something else that makes it operate as something other than just your “default.”

There are a lot of different options for movies nowadays: you can include an actual disk, a certificate for a streaming service (Redbox, Vudu, Prime, etc.), or possibly even just set aside a special title you already have access to (if it’s for your own spouse).  But I strongly recommend you have a very specific movie suggestion, so this is a movie night and not a try-to-pick-a-movie night.

If your recipient doesn’t have dietary limitations, you can add popcorn and/or other movie treats, as well.

Included in the printable kit is a card for listing your own recommendations.

Date #6 — Create Parodies

Sometimes marriage can get a little too serious.  The stresses of everyday life creep in, and you just get tired.  So get silly and have fun laughing together by writing your own song parodies.  Quality not required.   

While you can write them together, it can also be fun to surprise one another.  Each of you choose a song for the other, write your parodies, and when you’re both finished, sing them for each other.

The printable provides a list of song titles in case any given couple is coming up blank.  I’ve tried to stick with well-known songs.  But feel free to customize the list to the couple.

Need some inspiration?  Check out these famous parodies by Weird Al & Mark Lowry.  (Note: I can’t vouch for the “cleanliness” of all of Weird Al’s songs or all the originals these guys riffed off of.)

Get the printable date kit.

Date #7 — Wine Tasting, Chocolate Tasting, or Other Alternative

Here we come to the only food-related date.  If wine or chocolate are acceptable for your giftee’s diet (and their consciences), then a wine tasting or chocolate tasting is a classy date.  You can print out instructions and either include the actual wine or chocolate in your package or a gift card or cash with which to buy it.

If neither wine nor chocolate works, consider an apple tasting.  This works on a similar principle, but apples are compatible with a greater number of dietary restrictions.  Unfortunately, since they’re not processed, you probably can’t include them in your basket (you’ll have to go with the cash-or-gift-card option), and their seasonality might create some limitations for when this date can be used.  Still, even with those downsides, this can be a really fun way to enable someone with food restrictions to join in on the foodie fun.

Another option would be to include some snacks compatible with the diet and let the couple have fun tasting and comparing them.  This is a little less amazing, because you don’t get to enjoy the same subtleties and nuances between varieties of the very same thing, but it can still be fun.

• chocolate flavor wheel (I prefer the one from Chocolopolis, but it no longer seems to be available alone.  Just Google for one you like.)
• chocolate tasting kit (free printable — designed for kids, so the flavor wheel is simplified, but the instructions are useful)
• printable chocolate tasting kit ($10.75)
• chocolate tasting kit ($25 – tasting notes & chocolate samples)
• wine information for beginners (blog post)
• Wine Folly tasting grid (free printable) and digital products for purchase
• (free) printable wine flavor wheel
• American Wine Society wine evaluation form (free printable)
• streamlined wine scoresheet for more experienced tasters (free printable)
• apple flavor wheel (free printable)
• apple juice and cider flavor wheel (free printable)
• apple tasting kit (free printable — here on this blog)
• examples of apple evaluation

If you’re doing a high-level gift and really want to bump up the apple focus, you can even throw in this book:

Apples of Uncommon Character: Heirlooms, Modern Classics, and Little-Known Wonders

 

Date #8 — Laugh Together

Laughter is good stress relief.  Seek out some belly laughs with this date.  We’re looking for comedy here.  The obvious choice if you’re going for a higher-dollar package is to find a stand-up comedian’s gig on DVD and wrap it up. But if you’re going for lower-profile or you just can’t find any of your favorites, you can include a list of suggested links instead.  (I’ll include a printable in the package.)

Some of our favorites (or those solicited from likeminded friends) that are mostly family-friendly* include:

• Tim Hawkins
• Jim Gaffigan
• Brian Regan
• Andy Woodhull
• Rhod Gilbert’s “Lost Luggage” bit (I don’t know about his other work.)
• JP Sears (usually)
• Nate Bargatze
• Kellen Erskine
• Jeanne Robertson
• Studio C & JK Studios  (a little hit-or-miss for humor quality, in our opinion)
• Gabriel “Fluffy” Iglesias (a little rougher than some of the others)
• Dry Bar Comedy (not a comedian, but a “platform”) 

*I can’t vouch for every single thing they’ve ever done, but what we’ve seen has been pretty clean unless otherwise noted.

Also try:

• searching for “clean comedy” and/or “Christian comedy”
• Kids Say the Darndest Things (Usually the classic ones are better.)
• babies laughing
• babies afraid of their shadows

List of ideas included in the printable kit.

Date #9 — Virtual Concert

For date number nine, we’re going to “attend” a concert —  without the “attending.” The simplest way to arrange this is to purchase a CD or mp3 album to include in the package.  Ideally, you’d find a “live” album, since that will better replicate an in-person concert, but the music will still be enjoyable if it’s a studio recording.

If you’re able to track one down (and it isn’t overly limiting in terms of the calendar), you could also provide a link (or links) to a live concert online.  Several sources have upcoming concert listings (although whether these will continue after Covid I don’t know).

• Kennedy Center
• B Street Theatre
• Strathmore
• Celebrity Series of Boston
• Billboard
• Grammy Awards
• NPR
• Classic FM

Of course you can check for individual artists, too, if you have someone in particular in mind.  Some of these concerts are free; others require paid tickets, so be sure to plan accordingly.

List of ideas included in the printable kit.

Date #10 — Virtual Visit (to a Museum, Aquarium, etc.)

One more virtual visit involves a museum, aquarium, planetarium, etc.  It will depend on the gift recipient’s interests and what’s available.  Check out the links below (you might need to scroll down on some of the pages) or look up your favorites.

• Montclair Art Museum
• Monticello
• Guggenheim
• Natural Museum of Natural History (Smithsonian)
• Natural Air & Space Museum (Smithsonian)
• Langley Research Center
• Museum of Flight
• Museo Galileo
• The Louvre
• National Gallery of Art (D.C.)
• National Gallery (London)
• The Vatican
• National Palace Museum (Taiwan)
• Museum of Science (Boston)
• National Museum of Computing (Bletchley Park, England)
• Oxford’s History of Science Museum
• American Battlefield Trust Battlefield Tours
• Anne Frank House (Amsterdam)
• U.S. Holocaust Memorial Museum
• National Museum of African American History & Culture (D.C.)
• Houston Zoo webcams
• Cincinnati Zoo videos
• National Aquarium
• Planetarium from Home (Roberson Museum & Science Center)
• Lamar Bruni Vergara Planetarium
• Hudnall Planetarium (Tyler Junior College)
• Dome Planetarium (Peoria)
• Google’s Arts & Culture listing

The Google Arts & Culture options include a variety of special collections that are specific to particular interests, so don’t overlook it!

As is the case with online concerts, some of these tours are free and others have ticket costs, so plan accordingly.  (Generally speaking, unguided tours are free and guided tours have a cost.)

List of ideas included in the printable kit.

Date #11 — Act Like Kids

Have fun together and act like kids!  For this portion of the gift, include supplies for making a blanket fort — in particular clips (clothespins and/or plastic clamps) and small rope.  Include a note with instructions to make a blanket fort together, or a cardboard box castle or car for a “drive-in,” etc.

In case your recipient hasn’t acted very childlike in a while, you might also need to include a few suggestions for what to do in the blanket fort once it’s finished, like:

• cuddle
• eat snacks
• read a book together (by flashlight?)
• talk
• watch a movie
• play cards
• act very much not like kids, and…well, you know.  

Simple “packaging” for a simple fort kit included in the printable kit.

Date #12 — Get in Touch

I’ve kept these dates mostly PG, largely because I figure the not-so-PG stuff most couples can figure out on their own to do.   This date gets touchier, though — literally.

The focus here is on touch itself, and there are two directions you can go with this, depending on what you (and they, if this is for a third-party gift) are comfortable with.

1. massage
2. sensory exploration

(Or include both, if you want to be really generous.)

If  you’re looking at massage, you’ll want to ensure they have some basic instructions.  You can print out and include some information about precautions, link to a short how-to video or mini-course, and/or include a book.

You’ll also want to include some good-quality massage oil.  Cold-pressed sweet almond oil is a good choice unless your gift recipient is allergic.  If either spouse is allergic to nuts, apricot kernel oil is one good alternative.  Jojoba (pronounced ho-HO-buh) oil is another safe option.  Jojoba is more expensive, may absorb a little more quickly (and need to be reapplied), but is less likely to stain sheets.

Melt Almond Sensual Massage Oil 16oz + Free Couples Massage Tutorial + Bonus Travel Bottle + 3 CapsNOW Solutions, Apricot Kernel Oil, Hair Moisturizer, Rejuventaing Skin Oil, Softens Fine Lines, 16-OunceCliganic Jojoba Oil Non-GMO, Bulk 16oz | 100% Pure, Natural Cold Pressed Unrefined Hexane Free Oil for Hair & Face

 

The other choice is to encourage sensory exploration.  The included printable will explain the touch receptors in the skin and simple instructions for a “game” to experiment with these different sensations.  To facilitate this game, you’ll include (besides the printable):

• an 8-sided die (“d8”) and standard 6-sided die (“d6”) (It may be easier to just buy a full set of gaming dice.)
• a soft feather or feather boa
• something that heats (but safely!), like a massage candle* or self-heating hand warmer
• something that vibrates (e.g. small vibrator, vibrating massager, vibrating baby teether, scalp massager, etc. Don’t forget batteries!)
• (opt.) reusable ice cubes/”whiskey stones” (The stick-shaped ones for water bottles may be easier to hold onto.)
• (opt.) blindfold

*A massage candle is pure soy wax, which melts at a lower temperature than regular candles, so the wax doesn’t scald the skin.

If you’re using the small hand warmers, they may not be very comfortable to move across the skin because of their surface and, more importantly, their seams, so you might want to cover them.  Small mittens (perhaps from the dollar store) will probably do the job.  You can even buy heart-shaped hand warmers!

7-pcs Dual-Color Gaming Dice (D4 D6 D8 D10 D12 D20)White Ostrich FeathersReusable Instant Hand WarmersReusable Ice Cube Sticks for Water BottlesVibrating Grape TeetherSatin Blindfold Tie

 

“Game” instructions included in the printable kit.

If your gift recipient has fibromyalgia, you might need to substitute for this one.

BONUS Date #1 — Starga