Terrell Owens was released from a hospital Wednesday, apparently from a bad reaction to some pain relievers he took for his broken thumb. *cough* bullshit *cough*
It is true that Terrell recently had surgery to place a metal plate in his broken thumb, so he could catch balls sooner. For his job is catching balls thrown from Drew Bledsoe's pocket, usually hiked from under center. Wow.
The weird part is the Dallas police issued a detailed report stating that Terrell attempted to commit suicide. Must be rough getting paid $10 million a year to score. Touchdown! (sorry about the outburst).
The thing is Terrell isn't scoring as well as he could be. Right now he ranks 2nd on his team in receiving, and lower than most 1st, 2nd, and 3rd string guys. Reggie Bush (rookie runningback) has 2x the yard owens has, and plays for the Saints (there are better college teams).
It's gets better. Terrell was traded in early 2004 from the 49ers because he refused to listen to the coach, called the quarterback a homosexual in playboy, and didn't show up to practices ready to go.
After arriving in Philly in 2004, he had an excellent year as they made it to the superbowl (lost to the patriots by 3). The amazing part is Terrell broke his leg a couple weeks prior to the superbowl and managed to come back to play, and catch 9 passes for 122 yards (more than he has this whole season thus far).
2005 was different. He pissed off teammates and trashed Donovan McNabb publicly. He was "forced" to issue a public apology, but halfassed it and was benched from the remainder of the season (so he couldn't play for someone else).
2006 came and he was released. Dallas picked him up for a slim $10 mil and has so far been addressing T.O. this and T.O. that every press conference. Bill Parcells (head coach of Dallas) looks like he is going to burst that vein in his neck everytime a T.O. question gets shot at him.
T.O. is such a jerk, we should ridicule him, and make him feel so unwelcome that he either performs, or gets the hell out of town. After all it's worked so well for the Yankees.
We should hate him so much he wants to kill himself...
wait...We did that already...
What was a I thinking? We gotta live and let live! Guys like Terrell and A-Rod deserve every penny. I mean they work hard, day in and day out. They have to put up with crap that we throw at them, like school girls at the monkey cage. I mean what is millions of dollars if you can't take your shirt off in central park?
I ask each and every one of you readers to send A-Rod and Terrell piles of fan mail. Telling them how much you love them, and want their babies, yada yada yada. You get the point, if we shower them with love, they will play for free, and be the best players the game could ask for. If we keep corrupting them, they will take their own lives, and then we will be responsible.
Yes people, involuntary manslaughter. Here in America that means you aren't a real person. People with felonies cannot get jobs, or get money for college, or even a hotdog at baseball games. You have to settle for peanuts. Nobody wants peanuts!
So unless you want to go around saying "Hi! I'm a felon!" knock it off. Love your athletes, and they will love you!
Really! They will.
Maybe.
If you have boobs...
...and weed.
