Yup...
I woke up this morning, already in a total SHIT mood. It was not particularly a day that I even wanted to participate in. I wanted to just stay in bed, all FRIGGIN day. Just stay tucked away, in my blankets. Take a vacation from it all.
There were two reasons for me to pull myself out of bed, today. ONLY two. I was craving coffee, in the worst way ever. And, I was aching, to come to my blog, and write. I needed to vent. And, you all have already told me that, apart from yarn and recovery talk, it is fine for me to vent away.
At least the coffee was good. Great actually. It almost set my morning right. ALMOST!
But, then shit attacked, again.
I turned on the computer, and tried to get to my blog. Guess what? No can do! For whatever reason, my internet was deciding to screw around with me. HAH! You want to go to your blog, and write, do you? I could swear I actually HEARD the internet speaking to me, in a BITCHY, mechanical voice. Well, tough! I don't WANT to let you blog this morning. I want you to SUFFER! Now, Michael Leach...You will feel my cyber WRATH. I am taking away your morning blog time. AND, THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
I tried for about half an hour, to get to my blog. Clearly, it was not happening.
And so, I did the only thing I could do. I had a complete and total BREAKDOWN!
"YOU STUPID, STUPID COMPUTER!!!" These were the four angry words, that began my morning meltdown. Now, a nice, well-behaved computer would have seen the extreme anguish I was dealing with, and taken pity on me.But, alas, my computer is anything but well-behaved. Still, it would not let me to my blog. What followed was far from pretty.
Every curse word in the book, FLEW out of me, at warp speed. And then, even though I knew it was completely ridiculous, I cried. I sobbed wailed, as though someone was physically torturing me.
And, the crying continued until I went to physical therapy, at 1pm. Even as I sat in the blue recliner, working on the birthday blanket, I cried. Not even yarn could take away my tears.
Since Sunday, I have been living in TOTAL HELL!
I ask you this: Why is it always the bitchy relatives, that tend to show up on our doorstep? Do we have a high-beam light that sets in the sky, above our house, that reads: WELCOME SHIT-HEAD FAMILY MEMBERS!? Seriously, I wish I understood.
All Aunt D has done, since first arriving at our house (which my mother still claims was UNEXPECTED), is belittle me, in every way possible. Apparently my sister, and my brother, are both so wonderful. My sister is absolutely BEAUTIFUL. My brother is Oh, so HANDSOME. And both of them, are SO VERY NICE. (Mind you, these are not lies.) But me. Well...Michael, you NEED to cut your hair. You do not look good with long hair, at all. Go. CUT IT! What, you are not going to? Well, why not. 'Because', you say! Well...'Because' is not a suitable answer.
But, sadly, it gets worse.
I, apparently, am not even worth hearing. My words are just a waste of time. After all, if the bitch isn't putting one of her hands on mine (which, by the way, I HATE), and telling me: "Dear. Quiet your voice. You are going to need to stop shouting." then, she will talk over me, every single time. It is like I never even opened my mouth at all. I swear, she waits until I start talking, and then it is time to blab away, and shut me up. And, when I do get a word in, well...IT IS ALWAYS FRIGGIN WRONG! I could say the sky is blue. "What? Blue! Michael don't be silly. The sky is obviously green."
And, guess what her FAVORITE topic of discussion is. Yup! My (for lack of a better word) father. I mean, here I am, trying to leave my past behind me, and she will bring it up, over and over again.
I just want to scream, so bad. I want nothing more, than to look her in the eyes, and tell her: "You know what, BITCH BAG! Go (well, I won't write it) off! You don't know me at all. And, who the HELL do you think you are, coming into MY territory, and taking FRIGGIN control?"
But, I won't. I will suffer. My mother needs the financial help. And, I will do whatever it takes, to make sure her financial worries are not as crippling.  God knows she has been there for me, in HARD times.
But, ooooh! How I want to just take some yarn, crochet up a noose, and...
Ok, Michael. Calm yourself. Deep breaths.
Yarn talk.
The sock, sadly, has been ignored, for the past few days. It will not get any attention tonight, either, I am afraid. I do plan on attacking it tomorrow, however. Tonight, as I am already stressed BEYOND BELIEF, I will take a break from the stress of looming. I will instead, crochet.
So...Before my temporary time away, I spent a while, scanning over afghan patterns online. (I swear. There is something really messed up, with me. I am already WAY in, over my head, with my Project. And yet, I could not help myself.)
"It's just looking, Michael." Yeah. Even as I spoke these words, I knew better. Still, I tried to convince myself. "You're just LOOKING at patterns. It's not like you are going to take on something else. You're not a total fool, after all." 
Well, guess what? Apparently, I am. I, Michael Leach, am a TOTAL fool!
In my defense, I could not help myself. I mean, this is not JUST an afghan. No, no. This is ART! This is a piece that I could say, without any doubt, would be a MASTERPIECE! It is AMAZING!
Now, I do know this. It will be a complete BITCH to make. Not difficult, really. Just a pain in the butt. But, in the end...If I actually see it through, it will SO be worth it.
So, here it is. The pattern that caught my eye, and pulled me in.
http://happyyellowhouse.com/htm/fallghan.html
Now, I should say here, that I have NO deadline, when it comes to this project. I will simply finish it, when I finish it. If this afghan happens to be finished, before my Project is up, so be it. If not, then I will keep plugging away at it, until it is complete.
So far. I have one square done. I have chose to use different colors, than seen in the sample. Aran fleck is the yarn I will use for the hat. One hat square is done. And, I have decided to work the scarecrow's shirt, in the candy corn yarn, just because I love it, so friggin much!
Pretty though, isn't it. And, I know when MY version is done, I will LOVE it. (When I look at this, I think to myself HEIRLOOM. This is a piece that I imagine staying in the family. It radiates something special.)
Lastly...
Today, after coming home from physical therapy (I got more visits lined up. Yay, me!), I worked the finishing touches, on the birthday blanket. I am officially out of black yarn. Thank heavens I had JUST ENOUGH to finish. I did a simple double crochet border, around the entire blanket, using the candy corn yarn. It looks even better, than I could have EVER hoped! And, the 4 candy corn appliques got stitched to the corners.
As I fanned it out, to give it one final look, I smiled. It was the first  genuine smile, of the day. I grabbed my phone, snapped a picture, and suddenly, a little bit of happiness came to me. My aunt can be a bitch, all she wants. She can rag on me, till the cows come home. But, she will NEVER be able to take away that WARM feeling that I get, when I finish a project, and take my first look, at it, in its finished state.
Anyway...Here it is. I hope you guys love it, as much as I do.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/theyarnproject/5982547409/
Well...What do you think? Be honest!
Anyway...I am gonna go. Lots to do.
I am sorry it has been a while, since my last post.
Until tomorrow morning (hopefully)...
Happy looming, and crocheting....